1. If you don't get a weekly farm box, you are extremely jealous of your friends who do.
2. Finding an inchworm in your produce just means it's fresh!
3. In the event of constipation, you self-prescribe fruit. Why take laxatives when there are apricots in the world?
4. Reading your local alternative weekly, you are unfazed by an advertisement for an artist moonlighting as a rock stacker.
5. Occasionally when you're alone and you think about the plight of the California condor, it makes you want to cry.
6. You are fully versed in the concept of a controlled burn because you're all about responsible forest management.
7. You've worked on your consent skills. You've gotten good at giving permission, withholding permission, and asking for permission.
You can't count the times you've said "consent is sexy."