5. Occasionally when you’re alone and you think about the plight of the California condor, it makes you want to cry.
You can see the majesty in these bald creatures. Just because they’re hideous carrion birds who defecate on their legs to regulate their body temperature doesn’t mean they don’t deserve dignity.
12. You feel bad for people who aren’t comfortable being naked in the company of friends.
It’s society’s fault for making us feel ashamed. Like, how is it even possible that having pubic hair is seen as political now? We are humans. Humans have HAIR. Deal with it.
22. Although you possess an abiding love for all animals, you have mixed feelings about cats because you are deeply concerned about their impact on the native population of ground-nesting birds.
So cute, yet so involved in perpetuating adverse environmental outcomes on already vulnerable species. Color me CONFLICTED.
23. You find this cup incredibly offensive.
How can anyone keep calm with a Styrofoam cup in her hand? Don’t you know you’re poisoning the earth?!
- Hillary Clinton has officially accepted the Democratic party's presidential nomination with some fiery words for Donald Trump 🇺🇸
- A federal court struck down North Carolina's voting restrictions, ruling they intentionally made it harder for black people to vote.
- Four people in Florida are likely the first to contract the Zika virus from mosquitos in the US, the state's governor says.