5. Occasionally when you’re alone and you think about the plight of the California condor, it makes you want to cry.
You can see the majesty in these bald creatures. Just because they’re hideous carrion birds who defecate on their legs to regulate their body temperature doesn’t mean they don’t deserve dignity.
12. You feel bad for people who aren’t comfortable being naked in the company of friends.
It’s society’s fault for making us feel ashamed. Like, how is it even possible that having pubic hair is seen as political now? We are humans. Humans have HAIR. Deal with it.
22. Although you possess an abiding love for all animals, you have mixed feelings about cats because you are deeply concerned about their impact on the native population of ground-nesting birds.
So cute, yet so involved in perpetuating adverse environmental outcomes on already vulnerable species. Color me CONFLICTED.
23. You find this cup incredibly offensive.
How can anyone keep calm with a Styrofoam cup in her hand? Don’t you know you’re poisoning the earth?!
- Rick Perry, who famously wanted to abolish the Energy Department, said at his confirmation hearing to lead the Energy Department he now rejects "recommending its elimination."
- Vladimir Putin has used KGB tactics to seize on a rift between the US and Turkey, an effort to expand Russia's influence and divide NATO.
- Donald Trump's pick for treasury secretary, Steve Mnuchin, defended at his confirmation hearing using offshore tax shelters, saying it was an inevitable result of current tax codes.
- Been wondering why your friends now look like weird glamorous cartoons? That's thanks to Chinese selfie app Meitu. Say cheese 📸