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24 Signs You're A West Coast Hippie

Please pass the kale chips.

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3. In the event of constipation, you self-prescribe fruit. Why take laxatives when there are apricots in the world?

Incidentally, you're comfortable discussing your bowel movements. You may even use the phrase "poop positive."

5. Occasionally when you're alone and you think about the plight of the California condor, it makes you want to cry.

Utah Division of Wildlife Resources / Via

You can see the majesty in these bald creatures. Just because they're hideous carrion birds who defecate on their legs to regulate their body temperature doesn't mean they don't deserve dignity.


8. When you think about how much time the average person spends showering, it makes your blood boil.


People shower so much more than they really need to. It's like they don't even care about all the water they're wasting.

12. You feel bad for people who aren't comfortable being naked in the company of friends.


It's society's fault for making us feel ashamed. Like, how is it even possible that having pubic hair is seen as political now? We are humans. Humans have HAIR. Deal with it.


14. Are you someone who menstruates? If so, then you either use or wish you used a menstrual cup.


If you're a man, you think this might make a great gift for a close woman friend (who's expressed an interest and given consent).


18. You'd really like to know how to speed up the process of breaking in a pair of Birkenstocks, because seriously, if you don't buy them secondhand, it'll take forever.

22. Although you possess an abiding love for all animals, you have mixed feelings about cats because you are deeply concerned about their impact on the native population of ground-nesting birds.


So cute, yet so involved in perpetuating adverse environmental outcomes on already vulnerable species. Color me CONFLICTED.


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