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Is This A Beauty Tool Or A Torture Device?

Beauty is terror.

  1. Beauty device or torture device?

    FPG/Hulton Archive / Getty Images
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Beauty
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Torture
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is Max Factor's "Beauty Micrometer" Machine, which in 1932 was used by Hollywood make-up artists to pinpoint where "facial corrections" needed to be made. It used screws and extremely precise measurements to determine how far from the "ideal measurements" a face was.

  1. Will this clean your boobs or massage it with a thousand tiny needles dipped in radiation cream?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is a boob washing machine.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is a boob x-ray massager that has brought the death of a thousand women.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This washes your boobs.

    I do not have an explanation as to why you would want to wash your boobs and not your entire body, but I guess people were more busy in the early 1900's? Here is the original advertisement, if you can read French.

3.

  1. Pick the correct product name and usage.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The Ice Queen, a face mask made of frozen lake water and dubious, now illegal, herbs.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hangover Heaven, a face mask of ice cubes meant to tone and prep the skin to be on film.
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Modern Mechanix / Via blog.modernmechanix.com
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4.

Bored Panda / Via boredpanda.com
  1. What is this photo portraying?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Death.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A facial.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is a process in which your freckles are frozen off using carbon dioxide.

    It was a popular treatment in the 30's. Liquid nitrogen was also a thing decades later. Carbon dioxide freckle removal is actually still tested and used sometimes. Here's a clinical study from quite recently.

  1. Is this an electrical torture device or skin therapy popular with grandmothers?

    Via popsugar.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is from a horror movie.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is for your face.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is the Rejuvenique Face Mask, which you can buy for a mere $179.98 on Amazon.

    It has pretty good reviews!

    This is the Rejuvenique Face Mask, which you can buy for a mere $179.98 on Amazon.

6.

Modern Mechanix / Via blog.modernmechanix.com
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  1. Is this a death machine?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Clearly.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    No, this is for beauty.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This lowered atmospheric pressure around your head to simulate alpine conditions, for you to best achieve your "natural beauty".

  1. What is this a picture of?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Someone getting their legs squished to death.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Someone getting their legs massaged.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is a leg slenderizing machine, a 40's weight loss treatment popular in salons.

8.

  1. What is this?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Electrocution.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hair curling.
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  1. Would you sit in this tub?

    Via list25.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yeah, in my Pinterest-perfect outdoor dreams.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'm more of a shower person.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    "Sitting in the tub" was also a method of torture once upon a time.

    "Known as the punishment of ‘sitting in the tub,’ the convicted person would be placed in a wooden tub with only their head sticking out. The executioner would then paint their faces with milk and honey and let flies feast on them alive. The victim was fed regularly and after a few days they'd end up swimming in their own feces while bugs slowly ate them to death." Cheerful.

  1. Is this electrical object for torture or male patterned baldness?

    Via liveauctioneers.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is for pain.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is for male pain.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is for dudes.

    Even dudes want to be pretty sometimes.

  1. Did this wire contraption work?

    Via historybyzim.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Surprisingly? Yes.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    It gives you cancer.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The American Medical Association took the creator to task and said prolonged use could actually cause cancer.

    Though there's no online evidence of a patent or the AMA rebuke on the internet that is reputable, so this may just be a very bizarre joke. Besides that, the sentiment is still alive today. You can buy a plastic version of this on Amazon, which claims to "up the bra cheek line," for $30.

12.

Jay Paull / Getty Images
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  1. How was this product used in the 1800's?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    To seek revenge on the people who have wronged you, via their painful demise.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    To make women appear more attractive.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kind of a trick question -- it did both. Another name for it: devil's herb. That isn't morbid at all!

    Women used it as eyedrops to dilate the pupils to appear more attractive. It also kills you, which is, you know, pretty serious or whatever.

13.

Google Patents / Via google.com
  1. Is this a mask meant to punish wives that have misbehaved, or a mask to prevent wrinkles?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    I recall seeing this during my last visit to the Museum of Torture, for sure.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This is for wrinkles!
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    This is a facial contouring mask meant for wrinkles.

    To make matters worse, the elastic collar was tied corset-style around the throat. Have fun trying to get that off yourself.

  1. Pick the correct product description.

    collectorsweekly.com / Via collectorsweekly.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "A series of magnets scientifically arranged form minute batteries, recharging the blood with magnetism."
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "A series of iron spikes are gradually applied into this iron corset to provide maximum pain to the unfortunate victim wearing it."
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The magnet one. Yeah, I know.

    The magnet one. Yeah, I know.
    Via collectorsweekly.com
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  1. Pick the product that won't kill you with extended use.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    WIkipedia / Via en.wikipedia.org
    WIkipedia / Via en.wikipedia.org
    Correct
    Incorrect
    FDA / Via fda.gov
    FDA / Via fda.gov
    Correct
    Incorrect
    East Carolina University / Via digital.lib.ecu.edu
    East Carolina University / Via digital.lib.ecu.edu
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Long Live Health / Via lovelivehealth.com
    Long Live Health / Via lovelivehealth.com
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Even though it looks suspicious, using baking soda as part of your skincare regimen isn't going to make you seriously sick.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  1. What is this used for?

    Goldlucky.com / Via goldlucky.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Some kind of gender-conforming weight for exercising, which is considered to some a form of torture.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A boob roller.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Boob roller!

    This is used to stimulate breast growth and firmness.

    Boob roller!
    Japan Trend Shop / Via japantrendshop.com
  1. Pick the most terrifying object in the room.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peaceful Dumpling / Via peacefuldumpling.com
    Peaceful Dumpling / Via peacefuldumpling.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com
    Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    "M'lady."

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