Is This A Beauty Tool Or A Torture Device?

Beauty is terror.

1. Beauty device or torture device?

   

   FPG/Hulton Archive / Getty Images

    Beauty

   Beauty

    Torture

   Torture

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is Max Factor's "Beauty Micrometer" Machine, which in 1932 was used by Hollywood make-up artists to pinpoint where "facial corrections" needed to be made. It used screws and extremely precise measurements to determine how far from the "ideal measurements" a face was.

1. Will this clean your boobs or massage it with a thousand tiny needles dipped in radiation cream?

   

    This is a boob washing machine.

   This is a boob washing machine.

    This is a boob x-ray massager that has brought the death of a thousand women.

   This is a boob x-ray massager that has brought the death of a thousand women.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This washes your boobs.

   I do not have an explanation as to why you would want to wash your boobs and not your entire body, but I guess people were more busy in the early 1900's? Here is the original advertisement, if you can read French.

3.

Via messynessychic.com

1. Pick the correct product name and usage.

    The Ice Queen, a face mask made of frozen lake water and dubious, now illegal, herbs.

   The Ice Queen, a face mask made of frozen lake water and dubious, now illegal, herbs.

    Hangover Heaven, a face mask of ice cubes meant to tone and prep the skin to be on film.

   Hangover Heaven, a face mask of ice cubes meant to tone and prep the skin to be on film.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   

   Modern Mechanix / Via blog.modernmechanix.com

4.

Bored Panda / Via boredpanda.com

1. What is this photo portraying?

    Death.

   Death.

    A facial.

   A facial.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is a process in which your freckles are frozen off using carbon dioxide.

   It was a popular treatment in the 30's. Liquid nitrogen was also a thing decades later. Carbon dioxide freckle removal is actually still tested and used sometimes. Here's a clinical study from quite recently.

1. Is this an electrical torture device or skin therapy popular with grandmothers?

   

   Via popsugar.com

    This is from a horror movie.

   This is from a horror movie.

    This is for your face.

   This is for your face.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is the Rejuvenique Face Mask, which you can buy for a mere $179.98 on Amazon.

   It has pretty good reviews!

   

6.

Modern Mechanix / Via blog.modernmechanix.com

1. Is this a death machine?

    Clearly.

   Clearly.

    No, this is for beauty.

   No, this is for beauty.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This lowered atmospheric pressure around your head to simulate alpine conditions, for you to best achieve your "natural beauty".

1. What is this a picture of?

   

    Someone getting their legs squished to death.

   Someone getting their legs squished to death.

    Someone getting their legs massaged.

   Someone getting their legs massaged.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is a leg slenderizing machine, a 40's weight loss treatment popular in salons.

8.

Via adonis49.wordpress.com

1. What is this?

    Electrocution.

   Electrocution.

    Hair curling.

   Hair curling.

1. Would you sit in this tub?

   

   Via list25.com

    Yeah, in my Pinterest-perfect outdoor dreams.

   Yeah, in my Pinterest-perfect outdoor dreams.

    I'm more of a shower person.

   I'm more of a shower person.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   "Sitting in the tub" was also a method of torture once upon a time.

   "Known as the punishment of ‘sitting in the tub,’ the convicted person would be placed in a wooden tub with only their head sticking out. The executioner would then paint their faces with milk and honey and let flies feast on them alive. The victim was fed regularly and after a few days they'd end up swimming in their own feces while bugs slowly ate them to death." Cheerful.

1. Is this electrical object for torture or male patterned baldness?

   

   Via liveauctioneers.com

    This is for pain.

   This is for pain.

    This is for male pain.

   This is for male pain.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is for dudes.

   Even dudes want to be pretty sometimes.

1. Did this wire contraption work?

   

   Via historybyzim.com

    Surprisingly? Yes.

   Surprisingly? Yes.

    It gives you cancer.

   It gives you cancer.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   The American Medical Association took the creator to task and said prolonged use could actually cause cancer.

   Though there's no online evidence of a patent or the AMA rebuke on the internet that is reputable, so this may just be a very bizarre joke. Besides that, the sentiment is still alive today. You can buy a plastic version of this on Amazon, which claims to "up the bra cheek line," for $30.

12.

Jay Paull / Getty Images

1. How was this product used in the 1800's?

    To seek revenge on the people who have wronged you, via their painful demise.

   To seek revenge on the people who have wronged you, via their painful demise.

    To make women appear more attractive.

   To make women appear more attractive.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Kind of a trick question -- it did both. Another name for it: devil's herb. That isn't morbid at all!

   Women used it as eyedrops to dilate the pupils to appear more attractive. It also kills you, which is, you know, pretty serious or whatever.

13.

Google Patents / Via google.com

1. Is this a mask meant to punish wives that have misbehaved, or a mask to prevent wrinkles?

    I recall seeing this during my last visit to the Museum of Torture, for sure.

   I recall seeing this during my last visit to the Museum of Torture, for sure.

    This is for wrinkles!

   This is for wrinkles!

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   This is a facial contouring mask meant for wrinkles.

   To make matters worse, the elastic collar was tied corset-style around the throat. Have fun trying to get that off yourself.

1. Pick the correct product description.

   

   collectorsweekly.com / Via collectorsweekly.com

    "A series of magnets scientifically arranged form minute batteries, recharging the blood with magnetism."

   "A series of magnets scientifically arranged form minute batteries, recharging the blood with magnetism."

    "A series of iron spikes are gradually applied into this iron corset to provide maximum pain to the unfortunate victim wearing it."

   "A series of iron spikes are gradually applied into this iron corset to provide maximum pain to the unfortunate victim wearing it."

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   The magnet one. Yeah, I know.

   

   Via collectorsweekly.com

1. Pick the product that won't kill you with extended use.

   Image: WIkipedia / Via en.wikipedia.org

   

   WIkipedia / Via en.wikipedia.org

   WIkipedia / Via en.wikipedia.org

   Image: FDA / Via fda.gov

   

   FDA / Via fda.gov

   FDA / Via fda.gov

   Image: East Carolina University / Via digital.lib.ecu.edu

   

   East Carolina University / Via digital.lib.ecu.edu

   East Carolina University / Via digital.lib.ecu.edu

   Image: Long Live Health / Via lovelivehealth.com

   

   Long Live Health / Via lovelivehealth.com

   Long Live Health / Via lovelivehealth.com

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Even though it looks suspicious, using baking soda as part of your skincare regimen isn't going to make you seriously sick.

   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1. What is this used for?

   

   Goldlucky.com / Via goldlucky.com

    Some kind of gender-conforming weight for exercising, which is considered to some a form of torture.

   Some kind of gender-conforming weight for exercising, which is considered to some a form of torture.

    A boob roller.

   A boob roller.

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Boob roller!

   This is used to stimulate breast growth and firmness.

   

   Japan Trend Shop / Via japantrendshop.com

1. Pick the most terrifying object in the room.

   Image: Peaceful Dumpling / Via peacefuldumpling.com

   

   Peaceful Dumpling / Via peacefuldumpling.com

   Peaceful Dumpling / Via peacefuldumpling.com

   Image: Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   Image: Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstock.com

   Image: Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

   

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

   Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   "M'lady."