• Led Zeppelin- Thank You

    Led Zeppelin- Thank You

    Even the heaviest of the heavy metal bands has to puss out and write a love ballad and Thank You is that song. Although the lyrics were composed from a Celine Dion mad libs- you can’t hate the Led for owning their boy band side and rocking it out in a way no other band could. And let’s be honest, Jimmy Page can do whatever he wants because this guitar god is always gonna slay massive amounts of V.

  • Dido- Thank You

    Dido- Thank You

    Missing the bus, rainy days where you contemplate why you got out of bed, and almost getting canned at work aren’t usually themes written in songs about gratitude. Maybe that’s why Eminem used Dido’s emo first verses in his rap/ode to homicide “Stan.” But by the end of Thank you- Dido’s day from karmic hell has been redeemed by some unnamed hero and she want’s to thank him for “giving me the best day of my life.” I’m guessing he did a lot more than bring over rocky road ice cream. Thinking of a word that rhymes with shmoral.

  • Styx- Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

    Styx- Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

    1983 was the first time a Japanese Robot has received gratuitous praise in an American rock song and it went to #3. If only the humans from the Matrix would have thanked their robot underlings in the first place two awful sequels would never have had to been made. What would Styx have sung about had Real Dolls been around back then?

  • Thank U- Alanis Morissette

    Thank U- Alanis Morissette

    Alanis + gratuitous nudity + dangling carrots = boner in a granola hippy it’s-ok-to-fantasize-about-once kind of way. ‘Nuff said

  • Thank You for Giving to the Lord- Ray Boltz

    Thank You for Giving to the Lord- Ray Boltz

    What Christian youth has not cried to this song at the altar? The ultimate of 80’s Christian cheese music would not be complete without this song about a missionary brainwashing random kids until they reunite in Heaven (and presumably [hopefully] get molested.) Oh big gay Ray, I want to thank you for giving it to the lord because with that flowing mullet and a mustache Tom Selleck would gay out for I’m guessing you’re not the catcher.

  • Thank You for Being a Friend- Golden Girls Theme Song

    Thank You for Being a Friend- Golden Girls Theme Song

    If we could eat cheesecake after every episode of our real lives- Renee Zellweger and the cast of the View would have diabetes in about three months- the best three months of their lives though. Thank you Bea, and Betty and the rest of the ones whose names I don’t know (sorry not that gay.) Ya’ll really are the best friends a guy or gal could ever have!