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1) You scream GET OUT OF MY PUB at almost any opportunity
2) When your neighbours dig up their patio you assume MURDER
3) You never talk about the prime minister, taxes or any current events - AS THESE DONT EXIST IN SOAPLAND
4) When shopping for large earrings, these are simply PAT BUTCHER earrings
5) You never shop at the supermarket, it's always the overpriced corner shops
6) You genuinely miss Reg
7) You plan a holiday to Weatherfield as everyone is so tanned you figure it must be sunny up there
8) As soon as anyone says "we are going to have a great life together" part of you thinks one of them will be dead within a year
9) You're the only person you know who knows AND LOVES the theme tune to Eldorado
10) You wonder why all window cleaners don't look like Sinbad
11) You credit Hollyoaks with ANYTHING important you have done with your life
12) Your son is called Ricky… and your daughter is called Bianca
13) You have two goldfish... one named Phil... and the other called Grant
14) You drink your tea out of this
15) And this hangs on your wall
16) Your book shelf consists of back copies of Soap Opera Digest and Soap Opera Weekly
17) The night before a big cliffhanger you can’t sleep and pace your room
18) This is your ringtone (and it doesn't annoy you)
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19) You’ve watched every episode of EastEnders all week, but STILL get in a strop if you can’t watch the omnibus
20) You'd consider it
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21) You're from London but speak in a northern accent
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