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19 Secrets People Who Work In Marketing Will Never Tell You

We judge you by your font choice.

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1. We know that the rest of you think we do a fake job. / Twenty Twelve / BBC

We see you rolling your eyes when we say words like "millennial" and "omnichannel".

2. But we still see this when we look in the mirror.

Mad Men / Lionsgate / Via

We know that increasing your sales by 50% isn't an easy job.

3. We know how to deal with with the vaguest of briefs.

A classic brief "copy to go bang bang bang" #thingsyouhearinagencies

Seriously. We get briefs like this and we're expected to turn them into something on a daily basis.

4. Because all that fun stuff you look at online started with a serious meeting.

Loads of the funny stuff you see on your Facebook timeline was thought up by a bunch of creative cats at an agency. We just make it look easier than it is.

5. And because so much of our work is based online, we all have blogs.

If you're selling marketing to people you need to be able to market yourself, right?

6. Which means we really judge your bad font choices.

Every time you use Papyrus, a little piece of our soul dies.

7. No dress code = daily wardrobe agony.

Mad Men / Lionsgate Television / Via

If you have a client meeting, you need to look smart (but not smarter than them), and if you don't have a client meeting, you need to dress down otherwise everyone will think you have a job interview after work.

8. Which means we all end up all dressing identically.

Forget the four Ps of marketing, it's all about the four Bs: brogues, blazers, beards, and black-framed glasses.

9. We're always squabbling over whose turn it is to book the trendy meeting room.

There's at least one completely bonkers meeting room in every agency that's always booked out weeks in advance. Who wouldn't want to run through their weekly WIP sitting on a funky chair that's shaped like an egg?

10. Weird stuff happens around the office a lot.

There's always bizarre stuff lying around the office leftover from photo shoots.

11. But we have normal problems too. Like the eternal office playlist struggle.

Someone put Frank Turner on the office playlist.

The joy you feel when it's your turn to DJ is immeasurable.

12. And the fact that none of us can function without coffee.

Being bouncy and excited all the time isn't down to our great personalities; it's thanks to Aribica beans.

13. In fact, we're actually very snobby about coffee.

Zoolander (2001) / Paramount Pictures / Via

For the love of Gannt charts, don’t ever offer anyone a drink from Costa.

14. We'd give our right eye for anything Google-branded.

Holding a notebook embossed with the words "Google" (or, even better, "YouTube") says, "I've been to a meeting with Google and am therefore much cooler than you."

15. We've managed to turn being persuasive into an art form.

Trying to explain why a client should invest in Snapchat feels like telling a farmer he should sprinkle his potato crops with marshmallows. But we can do it.

16. And we're absolute pros at putting off doing timesheets.

They're a necessary evil when you work in a business where time is literally money. But we'd definitely pay someone to do them for us if we could.

17. We scramble over client lunch leftovers like vultures.

There's no sweeter feeling than getting a free lunch. And when that lunch is the good stuff from Philpotts and comes with pudding, it's worth getting the elbow out for.

18. And although we do work hard, we're all partial to a pub lunch and a pub dinner on a Friday.

It's tradition.

19. But all the hard work is worth it come award season.


It's like going to the Oscars. Sort of.