Big Boy Pants
Love and Relationship Blogger Anne Cohen talks about some pros and cons of dating younger guys
Big Boy Pants
When it comes to love and relationships, many times older women go for younger guys. Maybe it's the motherly like qualities, the nurture, the knowing what she wants and having the ability to say it (and sometimes demand it), or for other fabulous reasons. Whatever the reasons are, many times there's an undeniable attraction that occurs between an older woman and a young stud. Older women usually go to younger guys because of their reputation for their supposed sex drive, their ability to learn and grow into "how they should behave," and even because of their innocence. I'm sure that there are many other reasons as well.
At times, relationships between an older woman and a younger guy work out. However, sometimes, they don't for reasons of jealousy, insecurity, fear of what others (including their families and friends) might think, financial instability, lack of independence (if they're still living at home), ulterior motives, and many other reasons. Sometimes for a younger guy to date an older woman, it's such a "cool" thing that they might simply be doing it for the "conquer" factor, and to just "know" that they hooked up with an older chick. Yep, it's true folks, many younger guys just like "the idea" of hooking up with a cougar. If that older woman has kids from a previous situation, she even gets the infamous nickname of being called a cougar... a cougar with kids.
When a younger guy has marital intentions, and is looking for a pure, serious, and meaningful relationship, desiring to be with a woman that's older, it can be tricky if he doesn't go about getting her the right way. There's a right and wrong way to do things when it comes to dating an older woman. During the first few dates with an older woman, things should definitely be handled in a very mature fashion (see: How to Act on the First Three Dates). Many older women don't want to deal with the immature aspects of a younger guy, but they love all of the fun and exciting qualities. Older women usually don't want to put up with jealousy, lack of commitment, lack of effort, lack of drive, or even lack of motivation. Simply said, some guys are too young to really have their sh!*&$ together. Older woman don't feel the need to put up with a guy that won't take a stand, and make her his queen, despite his fears of what others might think, and they don't want to deal with all of the drama.
Whether a woman is older or younger, if a guy doesn't have his act together and not only knows what he wants in life and in love, and actually goes for it, they won't be interested. At least, not for the long term. They might just view a younger guy as fun for the moment. When a younger guy knows that he wants to be with an older woman, he needs to work hard not only to attain her, but to keep her. It takes a lot of effort in any relationship, but when dating an older woman, there's a whole new set of priorities that she'll view as important. Suddenly, the younger guy will have to learn at a quicker pace, stay focused, determined, and likely, he'll grow from the relationship. Even if it doesn't work out, the younger guy will learn and grow into a more mature being because he dated an older woman.
When a younger guy dates an older woman, he needs to stably act mature on the most part. He needs to act like a gentleman, have proper manners, and basically turn on his game! He can't just act as if she's just another girl that he's used to dating, because an older woman usually has experience to some level, and knows how a man should act, and she likely won't appreciate being treated less than what she's used to. If a younger guy really wants to attain the love of an older woman, it's important that he commits to it on all possible levels.
An older woman will want a younger guy to take the lead in situations, despite his age. She's going to expect that he can handle her on all levels, including, when big issues come up. If he's not ready to take charge, act mature, and stand up for her when needed, she'll likely peace out. You see, even though an older woman may like many qualities of a younger man, she'll still want that younger man to act like a man in some areas. So, if you're thinking of dating an older woman, put on your big boy pants, and do what you have to do, because she is after all a cougar, and she might run away if you're not a good boy.
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