Urban Dictionary defines “Krisbian” as, essentially, a straight woman who is a lesbian only for Kristen Stewart (the first definition, in inimitable Urban Dictionary style: “The effect Kristen Stewart has on a heterosexual fan-girl; whereupon, they would only go gay for her”). The sexual orientation of today’s Twitter Krisbians isn’t clear, but their love is powerful:
Krisbians love their Sexy Beautiful Talented Goddess. And it’s called: Kristen Jaymes Stewart. Happy Bday Kstew :)â€” Audrey Pattinson (@ParaCullenWhore) April 9, 2012
Being perfect since 1990. Krisbians Love Kristenâ€” Kristen Stewart (@planetkristen) April 9, 2012
Kristen Is Our Sexy Goddess â™¥ Krisbians Love Kristen â™¥!â€” saloua (@saloua27) April 9, 2012
I’m so proud of everything Krisbians have achieved this day!Kristen would be proud! Happy Birthday Kristen Stewart, Krisbians Love Kristenâ€” Hannah Pattinson (@loveliveRobsten) April 9, 2012
Krisbians Love Kristen YOU’RE THE MOST IMPORTANT WOMAN FOR US.â€” .AUGURI AMORE.22. (@RossForRobsten) April 9, 2012
our queen is 22 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Krisbians Love Kristenâ€” HAPPY BDAY MY BABY (@kristenourqueen) April 9, 2012
Krisbians Love Kristen You are Awesome just the way you are and you don’t change for anyone!!! Krisbians love you for that!!!!â€” â˜…Twilight__Starâ˜… (@MY__CHERRYBOMB) April 9, 2012
Krisbians Love Kristen es TT en Mexico!â€” Kristen Jaymes Stew (@KStewFacts) April 9, 2012
But being a Krisbian isn’t just about sex — here’s the fourth, and perhaps most accurate, Urban Dictionary definition:
A person that lives their life vicariously through Kristen Stewart. They want to BE Kristen Stewart. They monitor the world wide web for any and all mentions of Kristen Stewart that are in a negative light and believe that, in time, they can change their views of Kristen Stewart.
Below, a Krisbian explains why the haters are wrong:
Krisbians Love Kristen for the same reason you fuck faces hate her, because she’s awkward and differentâ€” feâ„“iciÎ± (@feliciafalconer) April 9, 2012
Stewart’s alleged “awkwardness” appears to be a major reason Krisbians love her. Sort of a backhanded compliment:
Krisbians Love Kristen because she’s awkward, but not fake. She’s the realest person in Hollywood. That why Hollywood needs her.â€” LA 04091990 (@KrisbianStewart) April 9, 2012
Stay awkward Kristen. You stay awkward, flawless girl. Krisbians Love Kristen!â€” Alissa (@ChasingKristen) April 9, 2012
But “living vicariously” is right. A number of adherents have changed their Twitter names to reflect their Krisbianism. This is one of the most egregious:
Krisbians Love Kristen so badly! I can’t describe my love for her. It is too strong!â€” MY KRISTEN IS 22! (@TwiKristew) April 9, 2012
And of course, the Krisbians have a Tumblr:
And a Facebook page:
Stewart has known about them for years:
And now you too know what it is to be a Krisbian.
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