Last week, writer Joan Price told the story of the orgasmic massage she got as a 66th birthday present. Now, her masseur Sunyata Satchitananda explains how he heals women's "sexual energy" with his massages.
What are your clients like? Do you notice any commonalities in the women who come to you?
Women of all ages, sexual identification, relationship status, and sexual activeness (inexperience or no experience with sex, celibate, coming out of celibacy and preparing for sexual activeness, in-between relationships, in relationship, ending relationship/marriage and not wanting another relationship) see me for sessions. The reasons women have sessions with me center on 1. healing from past sexual abuse and emotional trauma perpetrated by men (mostly) and 2. to have a guided experience of sexual empowerment with a safe, adept, spiritual man who will honor their boundaries, is not seeking sex or a relationship with them, and can meet them spiritually and energetically so they can experience their spiritual-sexual prowess and potential.
What does a typical session look like?
The form my sessions take contains a lot of talk, discussion and introspection, to "process" the judgments and meanings we all have regarding sex, intimacy and relationship. I also teach breath work and body movements that give the client more awareness and control over her sexual energy, enhancing her experience. Often, a sensual massage is part of the session. It consists of various Tantric techniques to activate, enliven, enhance and move sexual energy throughout the body and expands consciousness. Basically, the rushes of sexual energy and muscle/nervous system activation that clients of "regular" therapeutic massage feel but don't allow to "go any further" (because there's an agreement between practitioner and client to suppress these sensations) — I invite these, and work with the energy to accomplish the "clearing" and releasing of "energy knots" (wounds, judgments, meanings) that prevent fulfillment and enrichment and allow healing and integrating. The process involves active listening and feedback, and discussing what feelings, images, associations come up during the session and their referring places in the body (areas that are: numb, cold, painful, tight, sore).
Can you describe the massage you gave Joan? What was the goal?
Most people start with healing and repairing their vulnerability/innocence; then add awareness and education for areas they need more information about; and then move into experiencing their empowered sensuality step by step with a safe and adept guide by having erotic enrichment sessions. Joan's session was of this latter type. She had done a lot of her "inner work" prior to seeing me and it was clear to me from our discussions she was psychologically/emotionally ready for the experience of feeling her erotic nature and sensual prowess — facilitated by someone other than herself! It was also clear to me after our conversations that she felt confident, trusting and at-ease with me as the one facilitating her experience.
Joan's session included more than a sensual massage. I took some time to make sure we were clear about the [parameters] for the session: that we were not there to have sex or begin a romantic relationship and the nature of the session was therapeutic enrichment. What followed this was some time teaching Joan breathing techniques used to modulate energy and maintain presence and awareness in her body. After that I demonstrated and helped Joan with a body movement that facilitates sexual energy activation and availability. Following all of this I gave Joan, at her request, a sensual massage that is designed to ignite sexual energy and move it throughout the body, building, cresting, ebbing and flowing in an intuitive dance of energy that is sensually enlivening and often produces orgasmic energy releases. As I explained to Joan in our discussions: orgasm is not the goal of the session, yet they are not avoided either. The purpose of the massage is to strengthen sensual experience in the body and maintain present awareness under sensual activation, providing an opportunity for the client to feel erotic empowerment and sensual-psycho-physical integration.
What are the benefits to women of your massages?
My intention and purpose for the sessions I offer to women is to facilitate their healing and sensual/sexual empowerment. Usually a series of healing sessions will lead to a series of enrichment (empowerment) sessions. We build on what was discovered, released and integrated during healing and encourage reconnecting with her authentic expression of her sensual/sexual energy.
Sexual empowerment sessions help a woman to find her authentic sexual/sensual embodied connection, and feel what that means to her without judgment or modification by a man telling her how she "should" be or act to be appealing or desired. In these sessions I act as a guide that facilitates her discovery of what is "authentic" and "real" to her and to let go of any limiting, demeaning, shaming judgments that block her full experience and expression of her sexual/sensual self.
What are some things you have to be mindful of when offering erotic and/or sensual massages to female clients? Consent issues? Legal ones?
I'm very clear with prospective clients that I am not a surrogate, sex worker, "happy ending" masseur or "date experience." As an ordained minister, I offer spiritual counseling and hands-on-healing that facilitates personal growth, expanded awareness and knowledge, and spiritual evolution. I'm very careful to discuss thoroughly with prospective clients what is involved — and what is not — in the sessions I offer and to make sure we are in agreement about the intent and purpose of the sessions. During sessions there is frequent communication and opportunity for feedback; I check-in with the client to affirm her boundaries or directions, especially when going to sensitive areas. My intent is to serve the highest good of my client in this very sensitive, private and vulnerable area of life where there's not a lot of competent and sincere help available — and not break the law.