1.
First of all, pooping on your period is a nightmare — it's just constant bowel movement. Will it ever stop?
2.
And cramps feel like children are having recess inside your uterus. STOP RUNNING AROUND, PERIOD CHILDREN.
3.
When it's hot as hell outside and you decide to wear a pad, the inside of your pants are bloody, sweaty, and sticking to your ass.
4.
But if you don't wear a pad, you have to shove actual cloth cylinders up inside yourself to catch the blood.
5.
Your emotions are so fragile that almost every commercial on TV makes you cry as much as The Notebook.
6.
Oh, and you're horny AF, even though the inside of your pants looks like a crime scene.
7.
Sometimes your pad will shift in your sleep and you wake up in an actual pool of your own blood.
8.
Sure, you can get really excited about going on vacation, but if your bloody pal shows up, know you'll feel like shit the whole time.
9.
You have to own pants in bigger sizes, just for days when you bloat.
10.
Sometimes you'll think it's just a fart, but then, it feels...bubbly.
11.
Every time you wear white is when the day of doom arrives.
12.
Plus, shedding your uterus makes you hungry, so you eat chips, a few cookies, yogurt, nuts, ice cream, a few more cookies, maybe some tacos...
13.
When you sneeze, you feel that liquid regret pour forth from your whispering eye, ruining your panties, mood, and life.
14.
You pretty much have to set aside time to deal with clots —
aka the devil's hour.
15.
And your boobs are so tender, a feather feels like a weight on your chest.
16.
There will always be a day when you bleed through a tampon and you don't have anything to change it out with.
17.
Sometimes you'll think the week from hell is over, only to — surprise! — find a red stain on your cute, non-period undies.
18.
And everyone else is just like, "I don't understand the big deal."
19.
And though being on your period can feel like actual hell on Earth, when it's all over, you feel like you can take on the world.
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