23 Things That Only Happen When You Date A Server
Servers > all other people.
That server you're dating? They can carry the weight of the world in their hands.
They have INCREDIBLE reflexes. They never let ANYTHING hit the floor.
Nothing disgusts them anymore.
They can easily drink you under the table.
You recognize their work clothes by the many mysterious stains.
"Is that ketchup or blood?"
Laundry day should just be called washing aprons day.
Their pockets and purses are always super heavy because they always have so much loose change.
And they've almost always got tons of cash on hand.
A spontaneous weekend trip is just not possible. Everything must be planned ahead of time.
They can expertly pretend that they're listening, because every customer tells them their life story.
And they always have the coolest stories to tell.
They always get along really well with the drunks at parties.
They have the gift of quickly calculating impossible sums in their head.
They notice right away if there is sub-par service anywhere.
After a long night shift, they tend to smell a little, um, unusual.
And if you want to make them happy, you will make them breakfast* the next day.
Because you know that they had no time to eat at work the night before.
You have gotten over the fact that they have extreme emotional responses to silverware.
And that their place is covered in notebooks and check holders that they accidentally brought home after long shifts.
On the plus side though, there's always a ton of beer coasters at their place to set your beverage on!
And to be quite honest, since you have been together, you've become a much better tipper!
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