1. You’ve always been someone who is super ambitious, with lots of dreams and goals.
2. On a totally unrelated note, you also deal with depression.
3. And these two facts are always frustratingly, obnoxiously unavoidably at odds with one another.
4. You love the idea of doing, moving, creating — but your depression has other ideas.
5. Your confidence and motivation can be there one day and disappear the next.
6. Which makes you question your ability to achieve your dreams on the regular.
7. Sometimes your energy and motivation doesn't last past the planning stages.
8. When you have limited energy and a million things you want to do, you get overwhelmed and do nothing instead.
9. Some days, your ambition and depression have a weird codependent relationship with each other.
10. There's a lot of procrastinating, because you tell yourself you don't want to start something until you can give it your all.
11. You constantly think about where you’d be by now if you hadn't lost time dealing with depression.
12. The discrepancy between your inner ambitions and your outer accomplishments stresses you the fuck out.
13. When people recognize your ambitious nature, you always feel like an impostor.
14. Or, when people don't recognize it, you worry they mistake you for being lazy.
15. You have the occasional crisis where you convince yourself you're not depressed at all — you're just not trying hard enough.
16. And you're not sure if some shitty self-fulfilling cycle is at work or if you're being too hard on yourself.
17. You've tried to get yourself to chill and start celebrating smaller victories, but it's just not the same.
18. You feel like you’ve been talking about the same dreams without making any progress on them for way too long.
19. And sometimes you second-guess whether you really want to achieve your goals anymore or if depression is just making you lose interest.
20. When you do accomplish a goal, you're momentarily pissed that it doesn't solve all your mental health problems.
21. All the standard advice about ~achieving your dreams~ is pretty annoying at this point, tbh.
22. You constantly have to remind yourself that your treatment is helping you move toward a future you want, not hurting you, thanks to people who romanticize ~suffering for your work~.
23. But ultimately, you know you’re going to achieve your goals no matter what, because you’re ambitious as fuck and managing your depression as you grow is just another challenge.
By the way: Relatable posts are fine and good, but nothing beats getting the help you need. SO, here are some quick resources, just in case:
* You learn more about starting therapy here, since pretty much everyone can benefit from talking to a professional.
* You can learn more about depression here.
* If you need to talk to someone immediately — about suicidal thoughts or anything mental-health related — the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. A list of international suicide hotlines can be found here.