1.
How anyone can wake up feeling fine after a night of drinking is a complete mystery to you.
2.
For you, the question isn’t “hangover or no hangover?” — it’s “mild hangover or wildly debilitating hangover?"
3.
If you DO wake up feeling normal, there's a 100% chance a real- life miracle has occurred.
4.
But usually, waking up is the worst thing in the world.
5.
Trying to soldier on instead of staying in bed all day has disastrous consequences.
6.
And forgetting to drink water before bed is essentially a death wish.
7.
You’ve tried every hangover cure and prevention trick known to man.
8.
You've found a few methods that have some semblance of success.
9.
You make the same declaration every time.
10.
But you somehow conveniently forget that every time you go out.
11.
Going out is usually a two-day commitment; one for the party and one for getting over the hangover.
12.
And your friends don’t understand why you'd pass up plans tonight just because you have shit to do tomorrow.
13.
You've spent 12 hours in a blanket burrito more times than you'd care to admit.
14.
Even two-day hangovers aren't THAT unheard of.
15.
You have a go-to delivery place that gets half of your paycheck each month.
16.
And some delivery people have seen you in some really questionable states.
17.
Or not, if you get creative.
18.
You’re truly afraid for how much worse your already fucking miserable hangovers will get with age.
19.
You have a laundry list of time-wasting, hangover-approved activities.
20.
You’ve done a ton of trial and error to find a magical hangover-free drink of choice.
21.
But at most, all you’ve discovered is which drinks trigger which hangover.
22.
You've seriously debated whether the fun of drinking is really worth the consequences.
23.
But mostly, you've accepted that you'll never quite make up your mind.
