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Posted on Jul 27, 2016

These Pokémon Sex Toys Are Here To Ruin Your Childhood

Poké Balls sold separately.

Someone has come up with an inspired solution for keeping yourself busy when the Pokémon Go servers are down — these Pokémoan sex toys.

Geeky Sex Toys is selling the limited-edition collector set for $199.99, which comes with all four toys and a pokécase. Or you can buy them separately for $50–69 each.

There's Bulby, a Bulbasaur-inspired toy with a ~large seed tip~.

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Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to come with a vine whip.

Then there's Charmy, a flame-shaped Charmander-inspired dildo.

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Use it to heat things up. GET IT???

There's Squirty, which is inspired by Squirtle and has a large grooved turtle shell on its back.

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Squirty. SQUIRTY. Do I even have to say anything?

And finally, there's Piky, a butt plug that can turn you into the Pikachu you've always dreamed of being.

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For some added ~electricity~ in the bedroom.

Not gonna lie, people seem kind of into it. Well, some people.

Although there's one Pokémon-themed sex toy we're really waiting for.

In conclusion: You can now quite literally fill the Pokémon-shaped hole in your life when the Pokémon Go servers are down.

Buy them here or on Etsy. Poké Balls sold separately.

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