Resting Freshman Face Is A Thing And We Need To Talk About It

    "Aww, are you new here?" "SHUT UP!"

    Do people constantly stop you on campus and ask if you are new?

    Are you a working adult who tirelessly endures conversations that begin with, "so where do you go to school??"

    Well, fellow baby-faced humans, you might just have RESTING FRESHMAN FACE.

    Resting Freshman Face (noun): an affliction of the face in which a person is continuously assumed to be of first-year status.

    A commonly reported symptom of Resting Freshman Face is having to endure people constantly pointing you in the direction of first-year orientation sessions.

    And being asked if you're lost or need directions nearly every time you step onto campus.

    Suffering from Resting Freshman Face has been known to persist long after college.

    Worst of all, every time a sufferer of Resting Freshman Face is told "Oh sorry, I thought you were a freshman!" it's been said a baby dove plummets to the ground.

    So there you have it, fellow humans. If there's no lanyard, there's no excuse. Let's stop these traumatizing assumptions and cease to further alienate RFF sufferers...TODAY.