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Finish These Jokes And We'll Tell You How Dad You Are

Hi, hungry. I'm dad!

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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their favorite dad jokes. The results were cheesier than a slice of pizza.

  1. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.  The bartender says...
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    Are you okay??
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    Sorry we don't serve food here.
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    Who are you?? Sandwiches don't walk?
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    What can I getcha?
  2. Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
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    If they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
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    So they can go in one end and out the other.
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    They normally just have one...?
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    If they had more than two, the chickens would get confused. :(
  3. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
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    Because he was very thirsty.
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    Because he was a little horse.
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    Because he asked for it politely.
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    Because he was a good friend.
  4. How do you make a tissue dance?
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    Wiggle it around.
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    You blow in it really hard.
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    Tissues cannot dance.
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    Put a little boogie in it.
  5. How do you make holy water?
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    #Bless it.
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    Read Psalm 103.
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    Boil the hell out of it.
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    Cross your fingers.
  6. What's Forrest Gump's password?
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    Bubb@Gump78.
    Correct
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    Jenny.
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    BoxOfChocolates.
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    1forrest1.
  7. Did you hear the news?! FedEx and UPS are merging. Now they'll be known as...
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    Fed-Up.
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    FedEx-UPS.
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    A nightmare.
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    The Big Post.
  8. What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?
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    Ba-na-na-naaaaaaa.
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    He's more into beets than fruits!
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    Orange.
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    Strawberry.
  9. A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, 'First offender?' She says...
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    Yes, your honor.
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    No, your honor.
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    No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!
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    I...don't understand the question?
  10. What time did the man go to the dentist?
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    He never went! Dentists are the worst!
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    Sometime after work.
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    During his lunch break.
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    Tooth hurt-y.

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