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Literally Just 24 Tweets About Halloween That Will Make You Pee Your Pants Laughing

*spits out pumpkin spice latte*

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1.

If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die

2.

if you're in seattle and you drive by my house prepare for the fright of your life

3.

1 out of every 5 people you see dressed up at your halloween party is just me, changing costumes, every 6 minutes

4.

love seeing the creative halloween costumes, like "cold nurse", "cold schoolgirl", "shivering female superhero", "uncomfortably chilly pirat

5.

Halloween is coming up and I still have no idea what I'm going to be for the rest of my life.

6.

people keep asking me what i will be for halloween and my answer is that i am halloween

7.

8.

U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything

9.

idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school

10.

Not saying I'd rather eat a bowl of thumb tacks than a bowl of candy corn just saying it'd be a difficult choice

11.

The more effort you put into dressing your dog for Halloween, the more everybody else feels sorry for you.

12.

What's a good Halloween costume that doesn't require makeup and isn't uncomfortable and is my regular clothes?

13.

For Halloween should I be Girl In Sweats Ordering Chinese Food or Girl In Pajamas Ordering Pizza

14.

Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.

15.

For Halloween I'm going as that feeling you get at a store when you try to refold a sweater properly & put it back on the shelf.

16.

Today is Halloween. Or as Lady Gaga calls it, amateur night.

17.

My Halloween name is my regular name because it scares people regularly

18.

Congrats to "Monster Mash" on winning the VMA for "Best Halloween Song" for the 52nd consecutive year

19.

*Joe Biden throws Halloween catalog at wall* WHY IS THERE NO SLUTTY VICE PRESIDENT COSTUME

20.

Skeletons are a weird costume cuz you already got one of those in your body you're pretty much a bone oreo with skin frosting dude

21.

when someone says it's too early to be excited for Halloween

22.

halloween: how i wanna be vs how im gonna be

23.

Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe

24.

Tbt to Halloween when I went to my friend's house for a grown ups drinking wine party but there was more of a babad… https://t.co/C7bazsUKNi

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