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28 Ways You Are Absolutely An American Born Confused Desi Girl

Or "ABCD" for short. Ain’t nobody like this #desigirl.

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1. First thing’s first: you know Kajol and Sharukh Khan should have been married IRL.

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Truth.

2. You also know FOR A FACT that your mom’s gulab jamuns are better than everyone else’s.

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WITH OR WITHOUT GITS.

3. There was that time in middle school you asked your mom for non-24k-gold earrings.

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Never again. Just buy them yourself.

4. You did a lot of extracurriculars in high school. And one of them was speech and debate.

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5. But dating was definitely not allowed.

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Aaaand that's why your dad grilled your prom date on his grades, SAT score, and general life plans.

6. Chai fixes everything.

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Masala chai is even better.

7. Bend it Like Beckham would probably be your life if you lived in London.

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Look, making round chapatis is way more work than you have time for. Let's go for cloud-shaped.

8. You still have nightmares of your parents’ reactions to getting an A-.

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9. When you think about classic rom coms, you think about DDLJ.

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When Harry met Sally? Pshhhh more like when Raj met Simran.

10. You are supremely stoked when anyone who is Indian, looks Indian, or could potentially be Indian, is popular in U.S. media.

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And you probably know everything about them.

11. You are convinced to the very core of your being that all Indians know each other.

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We're all just family friends or distantly related. Fact.

12. You have an inordinate amount of sequin fabric because you're currently in, or were in, your undergrad Indian-American cultural shows.

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13. Turns out #browngirl drama is a real thing.

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And it really sucks. We could all use a little more <3.

14. None of this MAC eyeliner stuff for you. Nope, Lakme kajal all the way.

15. Your expectations for a significant other are completely realistic.

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ALL YOU NEED is a guy who will sing to you in a field of poppies with a cowbell from Europe. Totally reasonable.

16. As soon as you hit your 20’s, you are well aware that there are precisely two things relatives will ask you: (1) When are you getting married? (2) You’re too skinny. Want another poori?

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17. You know you look good when you go out, but you are SMOKIN in a saree.

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Ash has nothing on us.

18. Mindy’s Kailing autobiography makes you fairly certain that she just gets you.

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19. You can switch between lyrics to Beyonce’s "Crazy in Love" and "Bole Chudiya" from K3G in a heartbeat.

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Don't deny it.

20. Your imitation Indian accent is on point.

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21. Sometimes when you’re talking to another Desi, the head bob starts replacing a verbal “yes.”

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Can't help it.

22. You have to explain to non-Indians that bhangra is SO MUCH MORE than twisting a lightbulb and patting a dog.

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#cardio.

23. Indian weddings are the best.

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More noise, color and drama than all other weddings combined.

24. You go to parties and maybe you dance. But when Punjabi MC comes on, there’s no stopping those shoulders.

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It's in your DNA.

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25. You know that your festivals are better than everyone else’s.

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Four letters: H-O-L-I.

26. Why yes, you do have a Bollywood Spotify station.

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And the songs are so mazedaar, you have to be careful not to start singing out loud at work.

27. You know the incredible courage it took for your parents to immigrate to the U.S., and you are floored by how much they have sacrificed for you.

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28. And you have no problem at all with being called an American-Born Confused Desi.