Do You Actually Have Terrible Movie Opinions?

Everyone wants to say "Empire" is the best because that's the "smart" opinion to have. People don't want to admit that "Return" is fucking great and that Ewoks are cute as hell. The speeder bikes are rad. The Sarlacc is in it! Admiral Akbar says "It's a trap!" Fuck yeah, "Jedi" rocks.

In "Fellowship" it takes like two hours for Frodo to even get off his ass and do something. ROTK drags on for an hour too long. All the action happens in "The Two Towers." It has the battle of Helm's Deep and also the single best scene in the trilogy, the Ents' storming of Isengard.

None of these movies are as good as people think they are, but "The Departed" is the best among them. It's got Leo, Marky Mark, Jason Bourne AND Jack Nicholson. AND fucking Kevin Corrigan.

This time the popular opinion is the correct one. It's literally a prequel AND a sequel.

Haters gonna hate, but we all know the third Harry Potter movie is the best Harry Potter movie. It's the only one directed by arty director Alfonso Cuarón after the first two were directed by “Home Alone”-ass Chris Columbus. Cuarón's style elevates the film. There’s an omnipresent darkness, the gorgeous cut scenes of the Womping Willow which subtly convey the changing of seasons. And sure, this movie begins the omission of crucial Marauders storylines from the movies, but at least it gives us a great Lupin! And there's time travel. And Buckbeak. This is when the trio stops being little kids and start to be badasses.

It's an origin story before every franchise had an origin story. And Vanilla Ice is in it. I still want to re-watch all three now though.

Doc Brown is right: The Old West is the best period in world history. They try to run the DeLorean on moonshine! They try to push it to 88mph with a train. How are they gonna get back to the present while reconciling once again with their absurd, multi-decade beef with the Tannens? Why does this movie get a bad rap?

Listen, "The Winter Soldier" is a technical masterpiece, especially coming from directors who had mostly done TV. The story is a straight up homage to 70s espionage thrillers but still somehow manages to mix in super heroes and comic book conspiracy plots seamlessly. It also doesn't depend on a huge roster of heroes like "Civil War" or "Age of Ultron" do. And yes, we omitted "Ant Man." We're you really going to pick "Ant Man"?

This is the peak action movie of the peak action era with the genre's seminal star. It's the greatest sequel of all time. It was a revolution in special effects. Eddie Furlong is badass. Linda Hamilton is badass. The T1000 is badass. And "Avatar" is trash.

"Predator" is the perfect action movie. It has two future governors. It comes down to a one-on-one battle between two ultimate soldiers, one human, one alien. Guess who wins?

We all love "Toy Story,' but "Finding Nemo" is the premier Pixar movie. It was a leap in animation: the backgrounds, the details, the incredible ranger of colors was like nothing before in an animated movie. And it had Ellen speaking in whale language. It's the best.

All these movies are grerrible in their own way (great + terrible) but "Mortal Kombat" is actually like a pretty satisfying action movie. It's basically the same structure as classics like "Bloodsport" (and assembling of the world's best fighters) and seeing your franchise favorites come to life was thrilling (the on-screen versions in MK were way better than the budget-ass "Street Fighter" characters!) The scene with Scorpion and Johnny Cage in the grove is legit terrifying! And Goro! I could go on.