How Well Do You Remember John Mulaney's "Kid Gorgeous"?

What kind of ghost did John's mom see?

A little girl in a Victorian nightgown

Two boys in a trench coat

An old man with a top hat and a candle

An irritated teenage girl in a scrunchie

Correct!

Wrong!

A little girl in a Victorian nightgown

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Where was John when Tyler got pushed off the seesaw?

Inside the classroom

Over on the slide

Over on the bench

He pushed Tyler

Correct!

Wrong!

Over on the bench

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Finish the line: "I love doing stand-up for crowds because this right here, this reminds me of _______ in grade school.".

group projects

assembly

student council

recess

Correct!

Wrong!

Assembly

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What was the name of John's Stranger Danger speaker in grade school?

Jake Peralta

Jefferey Wittenberger

KK Slider

JJ Bittenbinder

Correct!

Wrong!

Detective JJ Bittenbinder

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Which of the following did JJ Bittenbinder not wear?

Three-piece suits

A pocket watch

An eyepatch

A cowboy hat

Correct!

Wrong!

An eyepatch

"By the way, Detective JJ Bittenbinder wore three-piece suits. He also wore a pocket watch. Two years in a row, he wore a cowboy hat."

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Which of the following was not one of Bittenbinder's Street Smarts tips?

Fall on your back and kick upwards

Punch the taillight out of a car and wave

Throw a money clip (engraved?) with a $50 bill in it

Fight them off with a paperback edition of War and Peace

Correct!

Wrong!

Fight them off with a paperback edition of War and Peace

John did teach us that phone books don't leave bruises, though!

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Finish the line: "But if you are taken to ______ location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none.”

A primary

A secondary

An unknown

Literally any other

Correct!

Wrong!

A secondary

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What was John's major in college?

Theatre

History

English

Communication

Correct!

Wrong!

English

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Who was John's favorite host introducing a musical guest on SNL?

Sir Patrick Stewart

Salt-N-Pepa

Mick Jagger

Jeff Goldblum

Correct!

Wrong!

Sir Patrick Stewart

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What war was the gazebo in Connecticut built during?

The Vietnam War

The Civil War

World War I

World War II

Correct!

Wrong!

The Civil War

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What does John compare Trump's presidency to?

A horse in a hospital

A bird in the airport

A cat in an aquarium

A monkey in space

Correct!

Wrong!

A horse in a hospital

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Finish the line: "My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s..."

Just learned that jellyfish exist

Running for mayor of nothing

About to pour hot soup in your lap

Back is as slick as a dolphin

Correct!

Wrong!

Running for mayor of nothing

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According to John, what is the appropriate response to "Do you have a Best Buy Rewards card?”

"Yes, I do!"

Standing in front of the laser printers, Blair Witch style

“No, I wish!”

Staring into their soul until physically removed

Correct!

Wrong!

"No, I wish!"

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What is the name of John's dog?

Petunia

Anna

Chip

Johnathan Edmund Mulaney II

Correct!

Wrong!

Petunia

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And finally, finish this line: "My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said..."

"Sing, goddamn it!"

"God can’t hear you."

"Where’s that pamphlet!?"

"That's not what Leonard Bernstein would do."

Correct!

Wrong!

"God can’t hear you."

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How Well Do You Actually Remember John Mulaney's "Kid Gorgeous"?

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