It can be easy to keep your eyes peeled for 🚩red flags🚩that someone you meet is actually not that great of a person, but what about green flags? Like, those small things you notice someone do that let you know that person is definitelllllly a keeper.
Well, redditor u/Soshampulin had an excellent question about that. They asked, "What's a subtle sign that someone IS a good person but doesn't want to show it?" Here are some of the best answers:
1. "They make space for someone who is being ignored in a conversation."
"You know when you're in a group and that one person keeps trying to say something but they keep getting talked over? Look for the person that will stop and say, 'Sorry [name], I didn't catch what you were trying to say. Can you repeat it?' or something like that, and makes space for the person being ignored unintentionally. That's a real gem."
2. "They're willing to stand up to people being rude to service workers."
"I was at a family dinner at a pub years ago, and my sister was very rude to the waiter because her steak was overcooked or something. She really went hard on him, and my brother's new girlfriend — who always seemed a shy and quiet person — told my sister to basically stop being a bitch, that the waiters didn't cook the food, that she's embarrassing all of us, everyone's looking at us, etc. From that point on, I knew she was the good sort."
3. "They ask how you're doing and actually mean it."
"I have this friend who I can just tell is really sincere when he asks how I’m doing. I appreciate anyone asking because it’s a convenient conversation starter, but with him I can tell he actually cares what the answer is."
4. "They crack jokes, but never at anybody else's expense."
"This guy I used to work with was such a class clown, always cracking jokes. Everybody liked him because he was so funny. It was a while before I realized that his jokes were never at anybody’s expense. There was never anything mean in anything he ever said, to anybody’s face or behind their back."
5. "They tell you to take your time."
"What most people don't realize is that bit of common courtesy shows that you recognize the other person as a human being whose time and emotions also have value. Many people are so lacking in self-awareness and empathy that they simply do not value other people's time."
6. "They bring their shopping cart to the cart return when they are done with it."
7. "When they are given a chance to quietly talk bad about someone, they say something good instead."
"That’s why someone talking shit about their ex can be a bit of a red flag. I understand that feelings about relationships are difficult, but I know that if someone speaks positively (or at least in a neutral manner) about their ex, I trust them a lot more immediately."
8. "They make casual excuses to do good deeds."
"Picking you up from the airport? 'Oh, it was on my way.' Buying you a beer? 'I accidentally ordered two.' Helping you move? 'I need the work out! Now I don't have to go to the gym later!' Anyone who does a favor for you and then acts like you're doing them a favor, or brushes the favor off as nothing, is a person who is doing the good deed for the sake of it and not for the praise or clout they receive. These are the best kinds of people."
9. "They ignore things like when you accidentally fart or spit while talking, so you don't feel embarrassed."
10. "They don't brag, others brag for them."
11. "They are good to animals and customer service staff, especially when they are agitated."
12. "They purposely try to include the quiet shy kid (at school) and make an effort to be nice and friendly to them."
"I was that kid in high school, and it always made me happy when these kids would make an effort to talk to me."
13. "They don't ask intrusive questions that might hurt other people."
"They don't ask questions like 'why are you not married yet?' or 'why don't you have kids?'"
— u/ladyh2
14. "They actually listen to your point when you're having an argument or discussion instead of just getting ready to make theirs."
15. "They do kind things and don't take credit for it or post it online for likes and praise."
What are some green flags that you think indicate someone is a good person? Tell us about them in the comments below!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity. h/t r/AskReddit