Food Delivery Workers Shared Stories About Their Most Wild Customers, And I Genuinely Cannot Believe What I'm Reading
Friendly reminder to thank and tip your delivery drivers, folks!
If this past year has taught us anything, it's just how important food delivery workers are. From bringing groceries right to your door to coming in clutch with your favorite takeout on a Friday night, they've always got your back.
Since their jobs bring them into contact with so many different people on a daily basis, I think it's safe to say most of them have a few ~unusual~ delivery stories under their belts.
1. This unexpected instruction:
"The delivery instructions said to 'beat on the door like you're the cops, and then rawr like a T-Rex to scare my kids.' I did this, but a small, extremely confused lady answered the door. Apparently the husband had written those instructions for a prior delivery and had not realized delivery instructions copy over to the next one if not deleted."
2. This potential celebrity encounter:
"I'd finished a Postmates delivery in the Hollywood Hills when I got pinged to pick up an order at a nearby Starbucks. The person ordering wanted four tall iced coffees...with no ice. I shrugged that part off, but was irritated because I had to make those annoying requests instead of just picking up the drinks. I got to the Starbucks and the lady working the counter told me they'd been expecting me. She told me that this was Ariana Grande's exact order and that I would be delivering it to her house. It wasn’t her name in the app but it did occur to me that a celebrity of her caliber probably used an assumed name or had an assistant order for her.
The address had an incredible view and was basically its own compound of multiple different houses. I figured that even if it wasn’t Ariana's, it had to be someone obscenely rich and famous. The person who greeted me was a middle aged, 4’10” Latina woman with a limp. She said thanks and I left."
3. This kid that was too cool for school:
"I was sent to this house with an order of a steak hibachi and a couple sushi rolls that added up to something like $19.60. In the doorway stood a 9- or 10-year-old that reminded me a lot of the kid from Bad Santa, but without the curly hair. I told him the total and passed off his food. He handed me a $20 bill and smugly said, 'Keep the change, pal.' Immediately after, he closed the door and I stood there for a second trying to process what just happened. When I got back to my car I noticed the time and realized it was way too early for that kid to be home from school. I wasn't even mad at getting a 40 cent tip, because this kid probably faked being sick so he could stay home from school and was probably in there watching TV or playing video games while eating sushi and feeling like a big shot."
4. This very pleasant surprise:
"I delivered a proper stack of pizzas to a really nice house in a very wealthy neighborhood, where I was greeted by a classic mid-fifties suburbanite guy. I had like 50 pounds of pizzas and he was just vibrating with excitement, asking me if I wanted to see something amazing in his basement where the pizzas were going anyway. It sounds like a red flag, but from his vibe and the amount of pizza he'd ordered, I figured he was having some kind of game night and was eager to show off. Sometimes an "oooh" or an "aaah" at an in-home luxury you don't care about is worth an extra $10.
We got down to the basement and it was a puppy party. It was some sort of adoption event he'd set up for his kid's b-day. Exactly as I'd expected, there was a classic rich guy basement. What I didn't expect was a gaggle of eighth-grade girls playing with DOZENS of puppies. I set the pizzas down on the bar and just sat on the floor and squealed and giggled."
5. This modern-day Rapunzel:
6. This order straight out of a math textbook:
"My boyfriend and I used to do grocery deliveries. One time, I had a woman order 33 oranges. Another time, he had someone order 24 jars of vanilla frosting. The store didn’t even have enough vanilla frosting in stock to complete the order. Then one week later, we saw that the same man placed another order for 20 more jars of vanilla frosting."
7. This dual delivery:
"I was delivering for a pizza place at the time, and we delivered to a large children’s hospital about a mile from the store. I pulled up to where we normally delivered, and a blue F150 came flying in. The driver jumped out of the truck screaming that his wife was giving birth, and out of the passenger's side I could see plain as day a few mm of dilation staring me dead in the eye."
8. This sketchy order:
"I picked up a big late-night Macca's order of what can only be described as stoner food. The delivery was in an area I wasn't familiar with, so it didn't strike me that there wasn't a place to drop it until I got to the address. It was an empty parking lot for a closed community center. I got out to see if anyone was there, but found nothing. I called the customer, but their mobile service wasn't even connected.
I waited and (being very new to this) drove back to the Macca's. I considered offering the food (most of which I couldn't eat) to some guys hanging out there, but decided that sketchy cold food from some random guy who pulled into the parking lot probably wouldn’t appeal to them. So, I just left $80 worth of food in the parking lot."
9. This action-packed encounter:
"On a Tuesday afternoon around 3:30, a regular called in for his usual pizza. This guy was always nice to me, but I could tell he was doing some hard drugs because he had lost so much weight and started to get lesions on his forehead and hands as time went on. I delivered the pizza and was walking back to my car when I felt an iron grip on my shoulder and heard someone shout 'YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THE WAY!' I turned and saw four or five county sheriff’s deputies in full tactical gear. There was probably 15–20 police officers in total. They led me behind one of their cars and told me not to move. Then busted this guy’s door down and went in shouting 'DRUG TASK FORCE!' I had to stay for about an hour and had my car searched and everything."
10. This narrowly avoided disaster:
"I had a delivery at a mansion of a house. Nobody answered the door or the phone. When I was about to give up and go back to the store, three 10- to 12-year-old kids ran up saying they ordered the pizza and that their parents were out of town. While the parents were away, they taught themselves how to make homemade smoke bombs, which they used to inadvertently set their backyard on fire. I grabbed their hose and started putting it out. They didn't want to call the fire department in fear of getting in trouble, but I made them do it. By the time the firetruck pulled up, I had taken care of the flames and the kids emptied all three of their pockets into my hands for about a $40 tip."
11. This suspicious order:
"Many years ago, I was a driver for Pizza Hut. We had someone place an order at the home address saved to our system, but in the notes it said to deliver it to a hotel down the road from it. So I went to the hotel, knocked on the door, and a dude answered in his boxers with a girl in bed peeking around. I'm 99% sure I walked into an affair encounter."
12. This raging party:
"When I was 18, I delivered pizza. On a weekday evening, I brought a huge order to a house where clearly a bunch of middle aged friends were having a huge party. Everyone was trashed already. The man who opened the door went back in the house and told everyone to pitch in for the order. Another 40-something wasted lady came busting out past me, went to the passenger side of a truck, then just fell asleep for a few minutes. I was on the doorstep holding 10 pizzas, and the lady who had my money was asleep with her front half in the truck.
I was about to yell for someone else to help me when she stumbled over to me. She shoved a wad of bills at me and told me to count it. The order was $108.25, and she handed me $164. She asked if it was too much, stared at me, looked at the pizza, looked at the money, reached into her pocket, pulled out another $10 bill and slapped it on top of the pile of money. I unloaded the pizzas and took off as fast as I could. Best tip I’ve ever made in my life."
13. This catastrophic call:
"I just probably gave a delivery driver a story of their own tonight when they called me to clarify directions. Their number was the same area code as a spam call I got the other day. I assumed it was them again, so I answered the call and just meowed. Then they asked for me by name (like the spam call did) and I just kept meowing every time he asked me something until he said, “ma’am, this is your Postmates driver.” I died from embarrassment."
14. This absolute roller coaster of a tale:
"I delivered pizza in a college town about 15 years ago. I took an order in the early afternoon to an apartment building with a locked entry and buzzer style door, which was unusual for the area. I walked towards the apartment's open door and heard really loud music. The TV and a radio were on at full volume. I looked inside and saw a man walking out of the kitchen in a hospital gown who seemed to be completely out of it. I told him the total and he looked around for the money. Yes, the gown was tied in the back but it did not hold against the constant bending over. At this point this is already one of the weirdest things to happen to me, but then it kicks it up a notch.
Anyone who's lived in this town knows about the peace sign guy. He had long hair, sunglasses, a leather jacket with no shirt, jeans, and big boots. He walked around town with a cigarette in his mouth threw up a peace sign to everyone. He was mostly harmless, but sometimes he got upset and lashed out verbally at people. So who should appear at the door behind me, having boxed me into the apartment between him and hospital gown man? Peace sign guy.
He started yelling about the noise, screaming pretty loudly just to be heard. Hospital gown man starts yelling right back at him. He still hadn't found the money. I contemplated trying the patio door and running for it. Finally peace sign guy left and hospital gown man proceeded to pull out a massive wad of crisp $20s. He tipped pretty well, too."
15. This slippery slope:
"I was delivering for Dominos on a night with freezing rain. I got to this house with a driveway so steep, there was no way I could drive up. I tried multiple ways to walk up it and the grass next to it, but could only make it a few feet. I called the customer and explained the issue, so they came out with a rope for me to tie the pizza bag to. They pulled it up the driveway and put the cash in the bag with a nice tip."
16. This expensive order:
"I worked for a delivery company about six years ago. I got an order for a single cigar. Total cost of goods about $3. Delivery fee was $13.50 (he lived way out in the boonies). He also tipped me like $10. Turns out he was drunk and 'delivery fee is less than a DUI.'"
17. This odd encounter:
"During the early days of the pandemic, I got an order for a ton of BBQ ribs from some newly opened restaurant in Atlanta. I got all this food and drove out to some random upscale Hilton hotel off the beaten path. After a ton of back and forth with the concierge, he finally directed me to the correct room. I was met at the door by two naked folks and another two waiting on the bed inside the room. I’m not saying those BBQ ribs were gonna be used in that orgy I interrupted, but I can’t definitively say there wasn’t a connection."
18. And finally, this unexpected visitor:
"Around 2004/2005, I lived alone in New Jersey without a car. I ordered from the local pizza place pretty much every other night. Delivery was usually done by someone in a beaten up car, or at best, a few year old sedan. One night, I placed an order for delivery right before closing. About an hour later, a dark car crept up the driveway. As it go closer, I notice the design was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I could faintly make out a logo: two R's stacked on top of each other. I didn't know much about cars, but I did know that anything made by said car manufacturer cost more than most luxury homes.
The driver's door opened and a man in an expensive suit who looked like he just stepped off the set of James Bond got out. He suavely reached into the car and pulled out my pizza. At this point, my mouth was opening and closing but no words were coming out. I immediately started fumbling with the damp, sweaty dollars I had in my fist trying to count out a tip, but he shook his head. He told me to enjoy my pizza and have a good night, got back in his car, and drove off into the night.
A few days later I decided to get some exercise and walked up to the pizza place instead of ordering delivery. The owner was there and I mentioned the peculiar experience I had. He started laughing and told me that was his brother, the VP of finance for JPMorgan in NYC. The owner forgot to give my pizza to the delivery driver before he left, and his brother just happened to stop by the shop on his way home, so he asked him to drop my pizza off."
Wow, now those were some stories! Are you a food delivery driver with a wild tale of your own? Tell us in the comments below!
Note: Some entries have been edited for length and/or clarity. h/t r/askreddit.