Being a bridesmaid can certainly be a bittersweet thing. A loved one asking you to be a part of their big day is a huge honor...but also a massive responsibility. Sometimes, being part of the ~wedding of their dreams~ means they might ask you to do some absurd and — frankly — unacceptable things.
I asked the bridesmaids of the BuzzFeed Community to share the most wild, unhinged things brides asked them to do. Here are 27 of the most jaw-dropping stories:
Note: Submissions have also been sourced from this similar r/AskReddit thread.
1. "An acquaintance from high school was getting married, and most of her bridesmaids had dropped out besides her sister and best friend. That should have been a giant red flag in itself. At that point, we hadn't talked in quite a while, but she asked me because she was at the bottom of the barrel. I didn't exactly agree 100%, but we arranged to meet up and talk. She took one look at me and said, 'Oh wow, if you're going to be a bridesmaid, we have to cover those tattoos, take out those piercings, dye your hair, and get you some contacts! How much is tattoo removal?' My jaw hit the floor. I didn't think she was serious, but she was adamant that I look 'normal.' I asked if she was going to pay the thousands of dollars for all this, and she was shocked and said no. I left. The wedding didn't even happen — she had been cheating on the groom for about a year."
2. "The bride (and groom) thought it would be hilarious to partner me with my ex, who was a groomsman. Except that by that point, I was happily married to my husband and attending the wedding with our toddler. It was horribly uncomfortable for many of us in the bridal party, since the breakup was kind of messy. Walking down the aisle in front of mutual friends and family was not an option. Fortunately, they switched our partnering the day before the wedding."
—Anonymous
3. "I overheard the bride drunkenly tell a mutual friend at the wedding that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t have had myself and a mutual friend in her bridal party (I was the MOH). I planned her bachelorette party (with the mutual friend) from another country and dropped a lot of money on it personally so she would have the party she wanted. I gifted her a pair of Jimmy Choos for her wedding day, along with a beautiful ring with her wedding date engraved. I had to fly to Europe for her wedding, use a hire car to get around, and help with loading/transporting wedding items back and forth. I was up that morning arranging with the hotel to deliver breakfast/coffee/tea for the bridal party. An old friend decided a week before the wedding she was going to fly from Oz to surprise the bride, so I had to arrange that surprise, find a hotel room for this friend, and speak to the groom to check with catering to arrange a seat for her without the bride knowing."
"I stepped in to help the makeup artist as she was running behind schedule. I walked the venue to make sure things were on track. I catered to her every fucking whim from 6 a.m. until midnight...and then to overhear that! Apparently her wedding day was ruined because the calla lilies in her centerpieces wouldn’t stay suspended in the water vase like she wanted. And it was all my fault because they slowly floated to the top. The next day she was all hugs and kisses, saying it was the best night ever and she couldn’t have done it without me. I have never wanted to falcon punch a bitch so hard in the face. I will never EVER be a bridesmaid again. Fuck. That!"
4. "I was a junior bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding. She told my mom that I had to wear pearl earrings for the ceremony, but I didn’t have pierced ears. My mom told her I could where clip-ons, but she insisted that I wear actual earrings or I couldn’t be in the wedding. So, my mom got my ears pierced. The wedding came around and my hair was styled down, so you couldn’t see my ears anyway. I was a few weeks shy of when I could safely change my earrings, but we tried anyway. Unfortunately mom couldn’t get them out, and my ears started bleeding. So, I walk down the aisle with my diamond starter studs and my cousin never even noticed. In the end it didn't really matter — she cheated on her husband and was divorced within six months."
5. "For my (former) friend’s bridal shower, she booked an expensive restaurant’s banquet room and invited more than 80 people, then expected the bridesmaids to pay for it. The food alone was going to be almost $2,500, and alcohol was priced per drink, like a tab to be run up, so who knows?! There were only five of us, and we were in our mid-20s just starting out in jobs, so it would have been a huge financial burden. On top of this, she demanded that each of us create a basket to be raffled, each with a different theme, like spas or wine. We were told the baskets had to have $100 of items in them, preferably half of which should be a gift card."
"These were to be raffled off, guests were to buy tickets for them, and, of course, she got to keep the money from it. Plus, she had already chosen a cake that cost $476.00! I offered a few alternatives like having it at a fire hall (which was actually lovely) and to get cheaper catering, but she wasn’t flexible at all. I had to bow out as gracefully as possible, but yeah, I was subsequently disinvited from the wedding and ghosted."
—Anonymous
6. "I was in a wedding where the bride planned two separate bachelorette weekends for herself and got mad at anyone who couldn’t spend two three-day weekends at ~$500 each away from their husbands/kids/jobs. The week leading up to the wedding, the temperature for the big day was forecasted to be a high of 10ºF (February wedding, Northeast US). The bride still insisted on outdoor photos without coats 'because we can’t hide the dresses!' Everyone, including the photographer, told her hell no. She pitched a fit when we refused to do more than one quick photo. Afterward, she stopped talking to 75% of the bridal party because of their refusal to accommodate her outrageous demands. To this day, she still complains about how her bridesmaids ruined her wedding."
7. "She was having her wedding during the beginning of the pandemic. The dress company we ordered our bridesmaid dresses from went out of business, so while I was moving out of my childhood home — which I explained to the bride — I was forced to spend $160+ on a dress that I wasn’t sure would even be arriving to my house. It didn’t matter anyway, because when I expressed my COVID concerns to the bride, I was kicked out of the wedding party. I was initially fine with it, but then the bride went on about how she was spending $40,000 on her wedding and that masks would 'ruin her day.' We were in the middle of a fucking pandemic where people were dying and losing their jobs...and you’re gonna complain about spending what could be someone’s yearly salary on a one-day event? Fuck off."
—Anonymous
8. "A friend asked me to be her maid of honor, then guilted me into throwing her a bridal shower and paying for the whole thing. It was not her first marriage, so no one else would do it. I coordinated her bachelorette party too. Then, during the rehearsal, I found out that she asked her sister to be her maid of honor too, so I wasn’t anymore. She never talked to me about it or explained anything, just acted like nothing happened at all. I was shocked and left right after all the pictures were done."
—Anonymous
9. "I've had colorful hair for years now. It's quite the investment — I go to a salon to get it done and buy high-quality products. When my best friend asked me to be her MOH, my hair was neon pink. Three weeks before her wedding, she requested that I color my hair a natural color. I was SHOCKED. She offered to give me $100 to get it done (LOL). I had just gotten my hair done — a plum/red color, quite tame in comparison to what I've done in the past. If I had just randomly went from brown to lime green out of nowhere I might understand her frustrations, but at this point I hadn't seen my natural color in like three years! I never changed my hair. We got into a screaming match at her bachelorette party, and she drunkenly revealed that her mom hated my hair and would not stop bitching about it. We cried and hugged in the club bathroom, and all was well. Her mom didn't speak to me at the wedding, and I'm OK with that."
10. "My first job out of college, a colleague got engaged and asked three colleagues to be her bridesmaids (in addition to one friend from high school). I had only known her for a matter of months, but I didn't feel comfortable saying no because she was one of my bosses. In addition to being in a wedding for someone I barely knew — which is shitty in its own right — there were so many horrible things about this nightmare bridezilla wedding. First, I ended up hosting both her bachelorette AND her shower because no one in her life planned anything, and she showed up to her own shower an hour late, hungover and wearing pajamas when she mandated that everyone dress for a luncheon. She ordered our dresses from Etsy (as opposed to any bridesmaid dress company), and they looked like sea-foam green raw silk pillowcases with holes cut for the arms and head. They tied in giant bows in the back, and we all looked like literal infants."
"She wouldn't let us wear heels with said 'dresses' because the groom was kinda short, so we all had to buy new flats in a specific shade of gold. She wanted us to wear our hair in a really ugly, extremely complicated updo — and said we would have to pay to have one of the hairstylists do our hair (we refused). The wedding was on a Sunday in an extremely inconvenient and faraway location, and it was not the Sunday of a long weekend. The rehearsal dinner for this SUNDAY wedding was THURSDAY and started at 4 in the afternoon, requiring everyone to leave work in the middle of the day. She forced us to stay at an expensive hotel in the area the night before the wedding for no apparent reason and refused to pay for our hotel room. Fun times!"
11. "At the last minute, she demanded that I pay for a portion of her bachelorette trip even though I let her know I wouldn’t be able to attend."
—Anonymous
12. "I was the maid of honor for my friend a few years ago. She had asked me to plan a bachelorette weekend for 16(!) people already, but initially said she didn't want a bridal shower. I mentioned a few of us would still like to do this for her, but we could keep it small — maybe 10 people at most, including the bridesmaids, her mom, and her grandmother. A couple weeks later, she sent me a list of 35 people to invite. I had to enlist the help of a friend to co-host, as I knew I wouldn't be able to afford the cost of hosting that many people, along with renting a space, catering, etc."
"We all live in Chicago in tiny apartments with minimal outdoor space, so it's not like this could be easily hosted in someone's backyard. I couldn't believe that she heard 'let's keep it small' and translated that to 35 people. At the end of the day, her entire family (except her mom) didn't even RSVP, so the total number of people at the event was only 12. She was sad that no one was willing to drive her grandmother in for the event, and I was frustrated that I could have planned something much nicer and cozier if I knew it was only 12 people to begin with."
—Anonymous
13. "A bride got really angry at me for cutting my hair; she expected all the bridesmaids to have long, fancy updos. She never told us this beforehand, so I didn't know to wait to cut my hair. It's my hair anyway, and it was really starting to become uncomfortable at that length, so I shouldn't have been obligated to keep it for her, but had she mentioned it before, I would have at least waited."
14. "I had an ectopic pregnancy, which meant that the baby was attached to my Fallopian tube, which then burst, and I almost bled to death. The soon-to-be bride got engaged shortly following my ectopic. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she told me that I would be required to wait to try to have another baby until after her wedding in 1.5 years. This was not because there would be a small child at the wedding and not even because she didn’t want me fat at her wedding...but because if I lost another child, it would take away from her engagement and wedding. I was so shocked I just declined and have never spoken to her since."
15. "A few years ago, I was asked to be the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding. She lived out of state (the next state over — it was a four-hour drive at most), but she wanted to have her wedding in our hometown where I still lived. No stress, I thought. During the wedding planning, she would make frequent trips to our hometown to plan, and it was all super convenient. At the same time, I took a new job and didn't want to miss any time from work during my probationary period. One week, she wanted to get a 'head start' on some planning, so she made the trip on a Friday morning. Prior to this, I told her that I could meet up after I got off work at 5 p.m. Again, no stress — she understood. That was until that particular Friday, when she wanted to start planning at 3 p.m."
"There was no real reason — 3 p.m. just sounded better to her. She started messaging me as she got closer to town, saying what time to meet up and what the plans were. I reminder her that I didn't get off work till 5 p.m. and I would meet her then. She blew up! How dare I put my job in front of her wedding?! Why didn't I tell her this beforehand? I totally did, and had the text messages to prove it. She tried really hard to get me to leave and even told me to fake being sick. I told her that wasn't the point — I hadn't arranged for time off prior, and I didn't want to 'just leave' unexpectedly. At 5 p.m., I left work, rushed to her planning site, only to find out no one else had been there at 3 p.m. either because, again, everyone got off work at 5 p.m. I was the only one she was mad at, though. Apparently somehow I had managed to prevent her entire wedding party from leaving work early with no notice. I don't miss that friendship."
—Anonymous
16. "She asked all the bridesmaids to dye their hair brown, get chin-length bobs, and wear very minimal makeup so we had a 'cohesive' look for the wedding photos. I took a hard pass on that one."
—Anonymous
17. "I've been a bridesmaid or MOH in many weddings, but the worst was for my sister. She expected me to go with her to every single dress alteration she had. The dress shop had her come in about five times, and they were two hours away. Half the time they didn't even make adjustments. When I told my sister I wasn't going with her anymore, she flipped out. Why I needed to be there for a dress alteration is beyond me."
18. "This wedding was in like two weeks...and the bride asked me if I would mind not wearing any makeup, because only the maid of honor and her were gonna wear it. I was pissed and confused, because the bride doesn't wear makeup ever. At the last girl's night, I suggested we mess around with makeup and see what she'd like for her wedding. She refused, saying she's not going to wear it. What the hell kind of request is that? Like, do you think other women attending the wedding aren't going to wear makeup?"
19. "My friend was getting married for the fourth time. She'd never had a big wedding with her previous husbands, and this was the groom's first wedding, so she wanted it to be grand. However, they didn't have the money for that. She didn't hire anyone for her wedding — us bridesmaids did it all. We had to help make the floral arrangements, center pieces, favors, and we had to set up the entire venue for the ceremony and reception. We also had to help cook, pan, and set up all serving stations for the food. They didn't hire a photographer, so she wanted everyone to take photos all night and share them on their virtual wedding album. When I mentioned how absurd it was she had us doing EVERYTHING for her wedding, she said I hurt her feelings because it was her day, and she shouldn't apologize for wanting it her way. Well...if you can't afford to have it your way, you probably shouldn't."
—Anonymous
20. "I was asked to be the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I thought it was an honor, until I received my to-do list. I was not only supposed to throw her a wedding shower, but also to foot the entire bill myself. There were a total of 10 bridesmaids — five of which were sisters of the groom — so I was not to ask them for money toward the shower to avoid appearing 'tacky.' Mind you, I was barely out of my teens, so money was a little bit of an issue. I rented a hall (she had a large family and was having a large wedding, so there would be over 200 people at the shower) and somehow pulled it off. I didn't even get a thank you, and she received some very nice gifts. Anyway, the next task on my list was to buy all the wedding essentials she did not receive as part of her shower."
"For example: the wedding candle that they lit together on the altar, a nice candle holder for it, the wedding guest book, the ring bearer pillow, and anything else she deemed necessary as part of my 'duties.' After the wedding, I was to bring her dress to the dry cleaners to have it cleaned (she picked it up after the honeymoon) and to then bring her bouquet to a florist to have it 'preserved' and duplicated in silk flowers (which she tossed in a box when she saw it)...all at my expense. I did it, because I didn't know any better, and I thought it was the norm for being a MOH. I then had to stay at her house and housesit while she went off on a two-month honeymoon across the country with her new husband."
—Anonymous
21. "She had her bridal shower at the medical spa she frequented. The shower turned into consultations for myself and the other bridesmaids. Turns out the bride wanted us to get filler and Botox to make sure we looked our best for her wedding."
—Anonymous
22. "The bride wanted all bridesmaids to wear heels and had to be approved of by her. Understandable. I’m 5’10” and was looking for heels in the 2- to 3-inch range, but every option I sent her was immediately rejected because I would be “too tall” in them. The only shorter options were kitten heels or flats, which were also deemed unacceptable. I got fed up and just took pictures of the heels I liked from a different angle to make them look shorter and finally get her approval. Amazingly enough, on the wedding day, there were zero complaints about me being too tall."
—Anonymous
23. "I was asked to be a maid of honor for this girl I worked with. We used to be on the same team, but she moved departments so we didn’t see each other as much. I thought it was weird that she asked me, but I didn't want to be rude so I said yes. I quickly realized I didn’t really know her very well. It was a short engagement, and she was constantly changing her mind."
"She changed my dress five times, and tried to change it again at the last minute after I'd already paid for alterations. I bought her a wedding welcome sign from my friend that makes them, and the bride was totally in love with what I had picked out and showed her. Then, she went behind my back and asked my friend to change it, even though I was the one paying for it. The bride never told me, my friend told me, and when I called her out for it, she never apologized. Then, she asked me to give a speech at her wedding after I had told her I hated public speaking. Even the speech had rules — I couldn’t bring up the age difference (she’s 27 and her man is 22), and I couldn’t cuss. Finally, she asked me to pack her car with her stuff so they could leave for their honeymoon. I told her I couldn't do that, because I had a baby I was bringing (he was only 6 months old), and I needed to breastfeed him and would have to leave somewhat early. She got pissed at that. Needless to say, her wedding was in December, and we haven’t spoken since."
24. "I had to drive an hour every weekend for two months after giving birth to a baby who spent the first portion of their life in the NICU. I was asked to leave the baby at home to help plan her wedding in the last couple months prior to the event. She had two years to plan this thing and had nothing done."
25. "I was a bridesmaid for a friend from college. We spent three months planning her bridal shower — she was not at all involved. When she finally looked at the plans a week before the party, she said it 'wasn’t what she’d had in mind.' She then delayed the wedding — which every one of her 400 guests had already made travel accommodations for — so she could have her dream bridal shower. She planned a $25,000 weekend in Vegas. She booked the presidential suite for herself and economy rooms for us, which she expected us to double up in. She wanted us to split the cost of the trip evenly (25,000/7 = $3,570 per person), excluding her. She said. 'You’re my bridesmaids; you’re kind of supposed to pay for my bridal shower!'"
"I didn’t have that kind of money at the time and told her so. Same with five of the other bridesmaids (the other two were her sisters). So, she and her sisters had the bridal party on their own. On the day of the wedding, she informed me that I needed to dye my hair (and pay for it myself), because my hair color is too similar to hers, and it would be distracting. She told me there weren't enough redheads, so she was thinking I could be a redhead. To top it all off, she informed us after the ceremony that to save money, we wouldn’t be served a meal along with the rest of the guests, because we already had the privilege of being in her wedding. I didn’t contact her again after that. She reached out to me to ask how to return my gift for store credit. I never replied."
26. "It was one of my best friend's weddings. She's always been very frugal, so I figured she was going to have a reasonable wedding and bachelorette party. I shared my monetary concerns with her, too (that I worked, went to school, and couldn’t take off much time). She didn’t have that many friends, so it was only me and one other girl as bridesmaids. She asked us to hand-make ALL her decorations for the wedding. I put in 15 hours a week making decorations. Then, she planned a weeklong bachelorette party out of town and asked us to foot the bill. This isn't even including the cost of our outfits. She picked matching designer dresses and asked us to pay for them. I spent nearly $1,000 on the whole ordeal, not to mention doing her hair and makeup for free."
"I just felt largely taken advantage of and unappreciated. We are no longer friends because we ended up working together (after the wedding), and she tried to screw me over at work. It all makes me very reluctant to agree to be in someone’s wedding again."
27. "A friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her shotgun wedding that was to take place in a little over a month. She has us order semi-expensive dresses, and they HAD to be altered to a certain length. Shoes had to be ordered. Toenails had to be painted a neutral color, and fingernails had to be French manicured. We weren’t allowed to paint our own nails — we HAD to get them done at a salon. Hair HAD to be done professionally by her hairstylist. And we were not, under any circumstance, to have bikini tan lines visible. Mind you, this was right after summer. I lived in an area where beach attire was usually the only attire, and everyone had visible tan lines. I eventually had to tell her that I could not afford to have everything done professionally with such short notice. I would be happy to do my hair and makeup. My hair was so short I couldn’t do an updo. She told me her mom could pay and then I could pay her back. That was the final straw."
"I sent an email to her telling her I could no longer be in her wedding. She was pregnant, about to get hitched, and now I was adding to her list of problems. I valued the friendship and told her such, but just couldn’t do what she was asking. I hadn’t heard from her for YEARS. Until one day she sent me a message, asking for me to buy from her MLM campaign."
Have you ever been a bridesmaid for a bride who made a wild request like these? If so, spill the beans about it in the comments below or via this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.