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How Polish Are You?

A Miscellany of Polish Culture

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  1. 1. In Poland, which ONE of these food ingredients is usually presented separately for you to assemble yourself?

    Stanisława Barei / Via youtube.com
    Pizza arrives separately from tomato sauce which comes in a little jug which you then have to pour on.
    Nuts from Snickers bars arrive in a small separate sealed bag (for health and safety reasons). You have to dip the Snickers in the nuts.
    Spaghetti is served separate from meatballs, which are normally in a small bowl made from bread.
    Scrambled eggs contain only scrambled egg white as the yolk is considered unhealthy
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's pizza...

    It's pizza...
    Via polishforums.com
  2. 2. How strong is the strongest commercially-available Polish Vodka?

    Via malathronas.com
    40%
    73%
    96%
    100%
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Spirytus Rektyfikowany is an eye-watering 96%.

    Spirytus Rektyfikowany is an eye-watering 96%.
    Via files.karnet.krakow.pl
  3. 3. Which of these is a genuine Polish radio or TV station?

    Via cambus.net
    Mary Radio

    radio station featuring frequent recitals of the rosary

    Reality Plumbing Channel

    TV channel featuring almost-constant plumbing-related TV shows

    Naked Radio

    radio station where the presenters are completely naked

    Meat TV

    TV channel where people talk about Kielbasa (and other meat). A lot.

    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Believe it or not its Mary Radio (or Radio Maryja)

    Radio Maryjas programmes consist of frequent recitals of the rosary, the breviary, and the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy; the unction to the Black Madonna of Częstochowa; discussions on the Catechism of the Catholic Church; a daily transmission of the Mass; coverage of papal trips; and sociological and political programmes

    Believe it or not its Mary Radio (or Radio Maryja)
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
  4. 4. Which of these is NOT a real celebration day in Poland?

    Via buffalonews.com
    Girl Day
    Children Day
    Grandma Day
    Neighbour Day
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Alas there is no Neighbour Day...

    Alas there is no Neighbour Day...
  5. 5. Burek is the most common name for a dog in Poland. It translates into English as:

    Via tvr24.pl
    Greyish-brown colour
    Munchkin
    Flea-bag
    Sausage
    Correct!
    Wrong!
  6. 6. Who usually earns the most money?

    Via cdn3.whatculture.com
    A handsome plumber
    A rugged doctor
    A suave English teacher
    An ugly stripper
    Correct!
    Wrong!
  7. 7. When asking for an item in a shop in Poland the direct translation of “I’m sorry, I’m afraid we haven’t got any of that at the moment, try again tomorrow or would you like me to order some for you” would be

    Nie ma

    ...said in a tone of voice that makes you feel guilty for having even asked.

    Snilas mi sie tej nocy

    ...said in a mildly aggressive manner

    Marzę o twoim dotyku

    ....said warmly while touching you

    Niech idzie lizac grzejniki w bibliotece

    ...said with a look of unhinged excitement.

    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Nie Ma...

    Nie Ma...
    Via dor.academy
  8. 8. Diary of a Visitor...

    Read the following text and then complete the rest: Monday - I went drinking with some Poles;
Tuesday - Hangover so bad, I almost died;
Wednesday - I went drinking with the poles;
Thursday -_________________________
    Via fatcap.org

    Read the following text and then complete the rest: Monday - I went drinking with some Poles; Tuesday - Hangover so bad, I almost died; Wednesday - I went drinking with the poles; Thursday -_________________________

    I went to work with a slight headache.
    I went to the GP. Just as a precaution. I couldn’t feel my feet and had lost the ability to see the colour orange.
    I wish I’d died on Tuesday.
    Due to already having got used to drinking vast quantities of vodka on Tuesday I felt absolutely fine.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    I wish I’d died on Tuesday...

    I wish I’d died on Tuesday...
    Via filmneweurope.com
  9. 9. According to a famous song, Polish girls are like:

    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Apples
    Raspberries
    Lemons
    A loud continuous humming noise.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Polish girls are apparently like Raspberries...

    Youtube: Voyager - Polskie dziewczyny (worth it for the music video!

    Polish girls are apparently like Raspberries...
    Via wordpress.com
  10. 10. Dog goes hau hau, cat goes miau. Bird goes ćwir ćwir, and mouse goes pipipipi.

    What does the Polish Sheep say?
    Via timeslive.co.za

    What does the Polish Sheep say?

    muuuu
    iii-haa
    beeee
    kukuryku
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Polish Sheep says Beee...

    Polish Sheep says Beee...
    Via ruudveltenaar.nl
  11. 11. This is a Marzanna.

    What would you do with her?

    What would you do with her?

    Dance with her

    – to symbolise to a girl that you are single (a bit like a traffic light party)

    Marry her

    - to symbolise your desire to continue to live as a bachelor

    Drown her

    – to say farewell to winter

    Tie her legs to the back of a tractor and drive around shouting with delight

    Why? Because.

    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Poor Marzanna....

    Poor Marzanna....
  12. 12. What is this animal meant to be?

    A Pig...?
    A Mouse...?
    A Bear...?
    A vole crow monkey…thing...?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    this ia a bear

    ...featured in the 1980s cult Polish film Miś....

    this ia a bear
    Via pagowski.pl

How Polish Are You?

Wow Have you considered appearing on Poland's got talent?

...perhaps singing songs about Raspberries

Wow Have you considered appearing on Poland's got talent?
Via hooping.org
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You are as Polish as fresh Pączki!

...and you clearly have a... *ahem* diverse range of interests...

You are as Polish as fresh Pączki!
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You are at least part Polish...

like Stanley Kubrick, Liv Tyler, Meg Ryan, Scarlett Johansson, Steve Carell and...erm... Ed Miliband..

You are at least part Polish...
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Oh dear, you need to polish...your Polish knowledge!
Oh dear, you need to polish...your Polish knowledge!
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