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The Harry Potter books are, as we all know, made for children. But the thing is, many of us who grew up reading those books are now full-on adults.
So when u/MrNoName_ishere asked "What NSFW things must have happened at Hogwarts that we don't see?" on r/AskReddit, people had a lot of ideas. Here are some of the best (and most disturbing) ones:
1. "Porn mags would have moving pictures."
"They would also talk back to you, god help you they might even critique you."
2. "You're teaching kids, who are going through puberty, how to bend the laws of nature. God knows how many magically mangled penises went to the nurse's office."
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3. "A huge industry would be wizard porn stars selling their hair and polyjuice potions."
4. "A couple polyjuicing each other and fucking themselves as each other."
5. "Mr. Filch used to torture kids, apparently...and they only stopped it relatively recently."
6. "I guarantee you that the 'cat hair in the polyjuice potion' has happened a number of times without it being an accident whatsoever."
7. "There's events of paintings moving to other paintings, so they must have some crazy orgies once in a while."
8. "Revenge week-long boner spells."
9. "Magic-induced orgasms."
"Also the most effective defensive spell in a duel."
10. "Entire castle of teenagers severely lacking in supervision and not one mention of teenage pregnancy. Either there are contraception spells or there are abortion spells, because anyone who has been to any kind of camp as a teenager knows there is sure as shit no abstinence being practiced."
11. "There is a room in Hogwarts that literally becomes any room you need for whatever purpose you require. And it comes equipped and kitted out with everything you’ll need. Any students who were into BDSM would have a fucking field day."
12. "In that scene in the Deathly Hallows where everyone takes a polyjuice of Harry, any of them could have checked to see the length of his 'wand.'"
13. "I'm sure the engorgio charm got used quite a bit."
"Dongus elongus."
14. "Longbottom deffo grew weed."
15. "I refuse to believe a castle full of adolescents beyond muggle law, with access to a complete potion room, never once tried to make meth."
"Oh god, wizard meth."
16. "How many times Ron beat his meat in front of Scabbers just for it to be Peter Pettigrew."
And finally, in more literal terms...
17. "Children falling off those damn handrail-less, randomly moving staircases. There's no chance those things were safe for work."
Can you think of a NSFW thing that definitely happened in the wizarding world? Let us know in the comments!
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