All The "Married At First Sight" Couples, Ranked

From "nearly unwatchable" to "a surprisingly magical reality TV love story."

9. Jessica and Ryan

FYI

Jessica seemed like a perfectly lovely person, but Ryan sucked. Ryan sucked so bad that he allegedly threatened Jessica's life and she had to get a restraining order against him.

Basically, any marriage that ends in a restraining order belongs at the bottom of the list.

Watchability: Practically zero.

8. Monet and Vaughn

FYI

Vaughn wasn't quite at Ryan's level of terrible, but still...dude was a diiiiiiiick. This relationship was a train wreck, which was fun at first but got frustrating very quickly. Thankfully, Monet has moved on to #Blacklove and Vaughn has moved on to obscurity.

Watchability: Minor.

7. Davina and Sean

FYI / AE

Davina and Sean started off strong, but it quickly became clear that Davina was too demanding, and Sean was just entirely clueless. They were still entertaining, but Sean saying awkwardly creepy things like "come-to-daddy sex" still echoes through all of our brains.

Watchability: Moderate, if you don't mind the occasional cringe.

6. David and Ashley

FYI

Oh god. Speaking of awkward, watching David desperately try to get something — anything — out of Ashley was just painful to watch. But hey, you can't really fault a girl for not being attracted to someone, and at least they were civil to each other.

We'll never forget David's attempt to kiss Ashley on the ferris wheel. He tried, bless him.

Watchability: Awkward but kind of in a good way.

5. Sam and Neil

FYI

Poor Neil. Sam was immeasurably awful to Neil, despite his being calm and supportive the whole way (at least on camera). To her credit, Sam now knows that she was terrible and says so every week on Twitter, but you probably still found yourself yelling, "RUN, NEIL!" at your TV.

The saving grace of their arc was the growth we saw from both of them, and the relief we all felt when Neil finally freed himself from this emotionally abusive hell. FREEDOM FOR NEIL.

Watchability: Like a beautiful dumpster fire.

4. Jaclyn and Ryan

FYI

Ryan and Jaclyn were one of the best couples to watch, because of the way we could see Jaclyn falling for Ryan as the show went on. She made it very clear at the start that she wasn't attracted to Ryan, but he grew on her, which is usually an "awww"-inducing thing.

If they were still together today, they might be the best couple to ever be on the show. Sadly, things didn't work out long enough for them to make it to the reunion.

Watchability: Enjoyable but ultimately disappointing.

3. Vanessa and Tres

FYI

Vanessa and Tres were a great match. They clicked pretty much instantly, but their relationship only got stronger as the weeks went on instead of fizzling out. That's great for them and all, but it doesn't make for great TV. Is it possible that they were just a little ~too~ perfect as a couple?

Regardless, Vanessa should start a new career as a bridal model because she looked like something straight out of a bridal magazine on her wedding day. Bravo, girl.

Watchability: Cute, if not a little boring.

2. Courtney and Jason

Courtney and Jason were a bit like Tres and Vanessa: nothing major went wrong for them, and they're still going strong today. They get bonus points for both seeming to be really lovely people, and for being together for about a year longer than Tres and Vanessa at this point.

Watchability: Excellent.

1. Jamie and Doug

FYI

Jamie and Doug are the perfect Married At First Sight couple. It started with Jamie in tears on the wedding day because she wasn't attracted to him at all, but Doug was patient and kind, and Jamie eventually fell in love with him thanks to his sweet nature and sense of humor.

Somehow, he still trusted her even though she had been on both The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad before this, and he was right. And they're still together today. They're the goddamn love story of our time, people.

I mean LOOK AT THIS:

Twitter: @jamienotis

THAT IS ADORABLE.

Watchability: 10/10.