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18 Jokes You'll Get If You Watch Way Too Many Food Network Shows

"[Chopped voice] So I'm looking down into my basket and I'm thinking that I can't cook."

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1. If you watch a lot of Food Network, you know that Chopped is a little ~softer~ than Cutthroat Kitchen.

2. And you know that, secretly, this is what most Chopped contestants should be saying.

3. You know that this would be you on Chopped.

4. Because you have NO IDEA how they do it.

5. But you're pretty sure you wouldn't try to make a damn vinaigrette with 10 seconds left.

6. You're aware that there are only four types of Chopped contestants.

7. And you probably wish this would happen every time one of them was eliminated.

8. You know these faces all too well.

9. But you also know that people fuck up on Cutthroat Kitchen constantly.

10. The same mistakes. Over and over.

11. HOW DO THEY ALWAYS FORGET LIKE, THE MAIN INGREDIENT?

12. You know that watching food shows has turned you into a harsh critic, especially when you deviate from Food Network programming...

13. ...But you also know that the guest judges on Cupcake Wars are way too nice.

14. You wish that this could happen.

15. And you know that these are the best episodes of Beat Bobby Flay.

16. Every one of these memes makes sense to you.

17. And so does this alignment chart.

18. Finally, at the end of the day, you really just want a partner who will watch and silently judge all of these chefs with you.