2.
And why does anyone EVER attempt risotto?
3.
Gonna have me a bowl of Tiny Ice Cream Spheres.
4.
Anyone else out there start screaming when the clock is ticking down?
5.
Like, I have serious trust issues now.
6.
You'd think the contestants would, like, watch and learn from the show.
7.
And maybe learn how to poach an egg. Or just not try to poach eggs.
8.
But the tragic backstories are what really matter, anyway.
9.
Because there's only four types of contestants.
10.
And one of them is the person who does every single one of these things in the dessert round.
11.
And then there's always the ice cream daredevil.
12.
Like, people, please stop trying for ice cream.
13.
WE ALL KNOW WHY THERE'S ONLY ONE MACHINE.
14.
There are always wonton wrappers.
15.
Something is always "deconstructed."
16.
But I can't judge, really, because this would be me:
17.
P.S. Can we make this actually happen? Thx.
