16 Things To Expect When Returning To College In Your Thirties

So you’re taking the plunge back to school in the hope of bettering your career. And why not? You aren’t old, but you’re still kinda old.

1. Other students ask if you’re the professor.

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And your first day was going so well up until then.

2. You sit in the front row.

You’re not here to waste time…or money. Again.

3. You bring a #2 pencil. Your classmates bring an iPad Air.

And nobody has a sharpener. NOT ONE SHARPENER.

4. You’re the only one who does ALL the required reading.

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5. You can feel people staring at you and wondering “Why are you here?”

6. You secretly Google your classmates references so you can engage with them socially.

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Who. Is. SHAILENE. WHOODLEY?!?

7. When it gets hard you just want to get out of there and never look back.

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8. You recognize your TA from your high school reunion.

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What are the odds? No, seriously; this is Statistics 201. What are the odds?

But you can’t forget that you’re there for a reason.

9. Even though nobody gets your Seinfeld references.

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Or any reference pre-2005. These kids don’t know who Stifler is.

10. But hey, your professor might have a crush on you.

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My, my, my. How the tables have turned, Ethics Professor.

11. You struggle to balance your class and work schedule…

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…and it’s exhausting.

12. The school you transferred from no longer even exists…

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It was nice knowing you, Lewis College.

13. While you would never DARE bring a backpack with wheels, you see the appeal…

For the sake of your back alone.

14. You grab a few drinks with your classmates and are the only one who isn’t carded.

“Yay!” and “Boo!”

15. You’d partake in the free condoms, but your girlfriend of 5 years has an IUD.

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16. And after a long week, your perfect Friday night consists of hanging out with your pets.

Or better yet: SLEEPING!

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After all, it starts all over again on Monday.

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