13 Better People To Give The GOP Response

Joni Ernst (R-IA) made waves as the first female to represent Iowa, a state so unimportant it borrowed its state flag design from France. However, when it comes to representing her party, a captivating speaker she is not. Here are 13 options the Republican passed on in favor of Joni Ernst.

1. A robot

We weren't that far off.

2. A Flight Attendant

They can communicate life saving advice without uttering a word. And they don't come across as stiff, malicious, or condescending!

Plus the GOP clearly had the wardrobe on hand.

3. This dog who can't catch a frisbee

4. This bag of flour

So dynamic.

5. Office Supplies

6. Those bread bag shoes we've heard so much about

7. The teleprompter

Again, we weren't that far off

8. The concept of existentialist dread

9. Aglets!

They're those things on the tip of your shoelaces, and BOY do they have an opinion about the economy!

10. This white board of talking points

Who can argue with sound bites built on justifying a preexisting political narrative? No one, that's who.

11. This anteater

Standing in place? Perfect.

12. This terminally ill puppet

13. and finally, this kid.

Seriously, get this kid a platform!

To stand on.