19 Ways All-Boys Catholic School Failed To Prepare You For The Real World
Because maturity just wasn't a priority.
Thanks to school uniforms, you probably didn't even think about shopping for clothes for four plus years. The result: mom jeans.
Ever accidentally call a "mister" a "father?" Well it's awkward.
Loud farts are HILARIOUS in a room full of similarly aged teen boys. Outside of it? Still funny, but slightly less so.
Girls. Females. WOMEN. They're your coworkers, classmates, and friends. They're real and they're out there.
Don't let yourself go when you escape the dreaded dress code.
You might still be compulsively checking to see if your shirt is tucked in. Take a breather and relax. You're a free man.
Do you have more ugly ties than you know what to do with? Well you'll have them forever. Get used to it.
Pro tip: not everyone enjoys poop and dick jokes.
Forgot to put on deodorant? Don't make that mistake twice. People remember.
Try not to lose your way without these helpful reminders about personal hygiene:
Oh, and human anatomy is not the most hilarious thing ever.
Remember: the best contraception is not having sex at all.
Masturbation? There are other outlets for your sexual tension.
The Holy Spirit does NOT need to be the third wheel on every date if you don't want it to be.
You're going to have to find a new go-to answer for every question you don't know.
Do not let the reasoning, "just because I can" justify your poor decisions after graduation.
More times than not, group photos won't be followed by "a funny one." But sometimes they are. You'll be ready.
DO NOT--I repeat--DO NOT moon ANYONE. In a classroom full of boys it's one thing. In the real world... Just don't do it.
The greatest discovery of all: being unathletic isn't a big deal. In fact, nobody cares at all.
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