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Kanan Gill Has Been Apologising For Things He Does, Thinks And Likes; And It's Hilarious

"I'm really very sorry" – Kanan Gill about sending unfunny YouTube videos, being too competitive on game night, and for liking veg biryani.

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Here are excerpts from some of the entries:

"My Apology For Being Too Competitive During Game Night"

"I am sorry for winning last night’s card games. I am deeply and truly sorry for my actions before during and after every game. As friends, I feel our decision to have a game night was the right one. As we approach our late twenties, destroying our bodies every weekend has lost some of the zing that it had. And since most of us are in relationships already, the whole staying up all night trying to get laid and failing plan is out of the window too. Then what options remain? I am glad you took me up on my suggestion of game night. You all clapped and cheered at how fun it would be to play friendly games with friends. You clapped me on my shoulder and thanked me for my suggestion. We continued to drink several beers, the night went on and plans were finalised."

"My Apology For Recommending An Unfunny YouTube Video"

"I am sorry for recommending an unfunny YouTube video. I almost screamed in horror. People were emitting sounds of first recognition. This video was a new event in their lives. More people slapped Rahul on the back. This was getting ridiculous. He was not cool, I knew about this video way way way way way before. That’s why at the end of the video as Rahul got up to play the next one and people hypothesised when he would stop with his recommending brilliance, I stepped forward. See I had just that morning seen a video, a video that was obscure and contained a high level of comedy. It was only shared amongst a secret Facebook group of which I am a part. A group where we only revel in things that few people have seen and discard popular videos which every Tom Dick or Rahul can recommend. I marched slowly to the front. The video that I was recommending was an avant parody of YouTube videos. I had snorted into my coffee mug that morning and made a mental note to share it on my exclusive Facebook group.I loaded the video and stepped back to revel in the glory. I cast a sideways glance at Rahul and Neha to show them this is how it was done.

That video was to be my undoing."

"My Apology For Liking Veg Biryani"

"The inner depths of my heart and the annals of history will now be lined with my biggest and most disgusting mistake. I suppose theres no point beating around the bush any more. I should just get to it. Yesterday in the afternoon, with my wits about me and with full awareness of my actions I wilfully consumed vegetable biryani. Don’t shake. I know, I have erred but I implore you hear me through because it does get better but before that I am ashamed to say that it gets worse.

I enjoyed this vegetable biryani. Now we can begin the process of healing. I can understand if you never wish to speak to me again but I would appreciate if you did me the courtesy of being an audience to my apology and my explanation."

"My Apology For Having Fun At Last Night's Party"

"Dearest friend I write to you again and I fear that it is a letter of the type you are becoming quickly familiar with. I have committed a grievous act and you know as well as I do that this one is unredeemable. But I beg you, I urge you, to listen to me and my plea and try to see that underneath this callous exterior that fails you constantly, is a heart that means well and aches constantly from the weight of its own mistakes.

I am sorry for having fun at last night's party. I winced while typing that sentence, and I’m sure you winced while reading it. Disgust and sorrow and anger when all transcended leave only one emotion-repulsion. I am repulsed by my own actions, as you were by them too. I still live the moment again and again and wonder how it all happened. When you caught me dancing non ironically with genuine emotions by myself you dropped your drink. I saw you, the shattered glass glittering like stars under the makeshift disco ball in the living room. Your cool cocktail from the 1920s that you drink and tell everyone that it is from the 1920s was spilt. The custom cool old looking glass you carry with you and drink every beverage from was broken too. I knew then how seriously you were affected."

"I write a lot of things that never see the light of day, because I agonise over them to get them just right," Gill told BuzzFeed.

Canonrat - Ratan Mehta

"They never end up being good enough and rot in my hard drive with the selfies I will never look at again.

So I don’t put pressure on myself with these apologies. I write whatever comes to me, and have a great time doing it. A great subject for an apology is something that is deemed socially uncool. The internet has an idea of The Right Things To Do and The Right Opinions To Have to make one a Perfect Internet Person, that is, cool," he added.

You can check out the rest of the blog here.


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