19 People You See In Every Indian Night Club

Which one are you?

1. The barely legal

Vogue / Via tumblr.com

Defining Traits: 16-year-olds that contribute to 90% of the population in the club. They're really really stoked about getting in, and about drinking, and about really everything. Ew.

Catchphrase: "Shots. Shots. Shots. Shots."

2. The kabab mein haddi

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Defining Traits: They first fight to get into the club, because they're stags, and they will always have a glass in their hand to try and level out the awkwardness of being the third/fifth/seventh wheel.

Catchphrase: "They have stag entry, right?"

3. The pick-up artist

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Defining Traits: Always comes without a date, most likely with a group. A smooth operator by all indication, and tends to be quite charming, gets the attention of most of the women in the club.

Catchphrase: "Can I buy you a drink?"

4. The pleasantly surprised tourist

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Defining Traits: They're quite content when they go to the more commercial clubs, realising that Indian clubs play everything from Deep House to Swedish House Mafia. They also love Bollywood nights, and embrace their inner Yo Yo Honey Singh.

Catchphrase: "I can't understand the music, but I love it."

5. The Bollywood fanatic

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Defining Traits: They've memorised most of the iconic dance scenes from popular Bollywood movies, and aren't afraid to tear up the dance floor, no matter what music is playing. Can usually be identified by their flashy sense of dressing.

Catchphrase: "Arey bhai, kya mast gaana hai, na?"

6. The rich douchebag

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Defining Traits: He drives up to the club in one of his designer sports cars, and has a whole bunch of people around him, although many of them might not like him. He buys up the bar, and keeps assuming people know who he is, even though you may never have seen him in your life.

Catchphrase: "Don't you know who my father is?"

7. The big spender

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Defining Traits: Big spender only when drunk. They usually come out just to drink a couple of drinks, but after they have a few, they want to buy drinks for the whole bar.

Catchphrase: "Don't worry guys, it's on me."

8. The bachelorette

Via charca11.rssing.com

Defining Traits: She comes in with a huge group of women, and tends to stay away from other people in the club. But that avoidance is in vain, because literally every guy in the club will hit on her, forcing one of her girl friends to step up and cause a scene.

Catchphrase: "Go away."

9. The dramatic couple

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Defining Traits: Usually just by themselves because friends already know they're just one big fiery pile of drama. After a couple of drinks the calm demeanours they once sported will shed off and all hell will break loose.

Catchphrase: *Guy looks at the DJ console.* "WERE YOU JUST CHECKING OUT THAT GIRL BY THE DJ CONSOLE?!?!"

10. The couple that really needs to get a room

Via rantplaces.com

Defining Traits: They usually throw caution to the wind and start getting physical anywhere. The dance floor, by the bar, near the restroom, anywhere. Which tends to annoy everyone around them.

Catchphrase: *lip smacking and sexual moans*

11. The lightweight

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Defining Traits: They drink as much as everyone else in their party, but get drunk way, way faster. By about 12am, and two drinks down, they're already hammered, possibly already dancing on the tables. Or passed out.

Catchphrase: "What happened last night?"

12. The one who's also high

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Defining Traits: They're dancing, screaming, sweating, and everything looks normal, and their world is moving twice as fast as everyone else's and their energy output could be hazardous to everyone around them.

Catchphrase: "What are you talking about? The music is fantastic, this is my jam."

13. The creep

Via tumblr.com

Defining Traits: A regular at clubs; they get drunk, start dancing way past the lines of respectable personal space, cause a scene, get into a fight, and then get escorted out by a unimaginably large bouncer.

Catchphrase: *Creepily staring from a distance*

14. The Instagramers

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Defining Traits: Basically there for the OOTD picture, to upload to all social platforms. If they're in your group, expect a hundred pictures to be taken over the course of the night. And expect them to look flawless in all the pictures, no matter how tired or drunk they get.

Catchphrase: "BUT FIRST, let me take an unnecessary number of selfies."

15. The whiner

NBC / Via giphy.com

Defining Traits: They usually hate clubbing, but are forced to by their friends. They hate the crowds, the smoke, the loud music, and the awful people.

Catchphrase: "I'm never doing this again."

16. The backseat DJ

Via studentbeans.com

Defining Traits: Stand consistently near the DJ booth, screams song names, and annoys their friends to keep suggesting different songs.

Catchphrase: "OMG, THEY HAVE TO PLAY (Insert most overplayed and annoying song ever)."

17. The hot mess express

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Defining Traits: This person has either lost their phone or broken it or dropped it in water or called their ex. They can't find their keys. They may or may not be on the run from the law. You never know.

Catchphrase: Has anyone seen my phone? STOP THE MUSIC. HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY PHONE.

18. The parent

Viacom 18 / Via bollywoodreactions.tumblr.com

Defining Traits: This person is relatively sober, mitigating the disastrous effects of your horrible decision-making, making sure everyone gets home safe, and an all-round godsend. Thank them profusely at every opportunity you get.

Catchphrase: "Phone, keys, wallet?"

19. Aaand the drunchie chaser

Via youtube.com

Defining Traits: This person knows where all the cheap late-night eats around the club are, how late they're open, and what's on the menu. They measure the quality of any night out by the greasy and delicious food they eat at the end of it.

Catchphrase: "Chal na, let's go to Mini Punjab."