The 21 Harsh Realities Of Being A Temp

Although you are benefiting your future with a job you don’t like in a company you hate and all that, there are some facts you need to face before venturing off into the deep, twisted woods of Templand. (Idea from Luis Pontillo)

1. You have no benefits


You don’t get paid for holidays, vacations or sick days

2. No one knows your name

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You will be called “the temp” behind your back for at least 6 months

3. You are scared to make friends because you’re only temporary


This is just a pit stop on your road to success-ain’t nobody got time fo friends

4. Your food in the community fridge WILL get eaten


You thought people cared that you put your name on it? Cute joke.

5. The crappiest cubicle belongs to you now


You’re either sharing it with someone you don’t like or it is in a horrid location.

6. No one offers to get afternoon Starbucks for you


Sorry, only for full time, permanent workers, buddy.

7. You are basically your bosses assistant


Write down where they get their dry cleaning done and how many sugars they take in their venti latte.

8. You cannot dress as casually as your coworkers


You want to be offered a full time job, don’t you?! Casual Friday doesn’t apply to you…it’s more like Wear-A-Blazer-With-Expensive-Jeans Friday.

9. You are simply the King of the Copy Machine


Building a copy machine would be no problem considering how many times you’ve taken it apart to unjam it

10. Your only true friend is the janitor


Everyone else is the corporate enemy stealing your thunder.

11. Others WILL steal your ideas


There is no such thing as “credit where credit is due” in Templand…

12. Everyone will forget to invite you to the bar


It’s fine…you didn’t want to go out with them anyway….

13. You are now the master of filing


You could name every person in the company after the hours you’ve logged in the filing cabinet.

14. Attending awkward out-of-work work functions is mandatory


You can’t say “I am busy” because you are expected to go and kiss ass on your Friday night

15. You have mastered the art of pretending to work


Sometimes you aren’t given anything to do but sit there and pretend to type things

16. You constantly feel slightly out of place


Everyone knows their distincitve jobs and needs…but what are yours?

17. The company you are working for does not interest you in the least


You want to work at a magazine? Then please remind me why you are working for a plumbing company then…

18. You have learned what a “working lunch” means


In those short sprees where you have a lot to do and it was due yesterday, you don’t have time for lunch.

19. You can’t just sit around and eat all day anymore


So when you do eat…you eat A LOT

20. You started with the “first in, last out” moto…


But now it is more like “not ridiculously late, out at 5:01”

21. You may just end up being “let go” after a while


It’s not your fault, but the company feels your talents would be best suited in a different business

It’s all good. They couldn’t handle your skills anyway


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