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1. Rose gold hair clips for a fancy 'do that anyone would save onto their Pinterest board.
2. A magnetic grocery checklist that'll prevent all "DAMMIT I FORGOT TO BUY THE MILK AGAIN!!!!" fiascos.
3. Branch-and-twig-inspired graphite pencils anyone ~wood~ be happy to receive. Warning: watch out for splinters.
4. A two-pen holder clip perfect for all agendas. Never fish in the messy abyss of your bag for a writing utensil...ever again!
5. A light-up USB phone charger obsessed with Saturday Night Fever. Apparently, it loves disco music and the Bee Gees.
6. A pack of all-natural lip balms made from beeswax, vitamin E, and peppermint oil. Hello, hydration free of parabens.
7. A before-you-go toilet spray to fool the world into thinking that a human being poops out jelly beans and fresh fruit.
8. Slip-resistant socks perfect for following the yellow brick road. Don't be such a chicken. Just cross it already.
9. A self-watering stake that gives plants around the world an actual chance at survival.
10. Travel-sized toothpastes in unique flavors such as cinnamon mint, jasmine mint, ginger mint, and licorice mint.
11. Stick-on labels to get the real life of the party — wine, obviously — into the holiday spirit à la ugly sweaters.
12. Pocket-sized tissues because the weather outside is frightful and everyone is starting to sniffle. Ugh.
13. A heat-resistant silicone clip that'll keep dirty spoons off the countertop. Don't worry, this won't escape to the market.
14. Shakespearean bandages so that your S/O has to read "thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese" with every paper cut.
15. Wine glass markers to avoid confusion at the holiday party. Josh, Ryan, Cody, Brad, Chad, and Mitch to the rescue!
16. A laundry bag that folds neatly into a tiny little pouch. This is the perfect travel-sized item. Clearly.
17. Silicone bottle caps designed to keep beer fresh and carbonated. Can't finish a bottle? Just save it!
18. A luggage tag that might ruin your suitcase: it's delicious, but somewhat greasy. Purchase with caution.
19. A yellow submarine contact case known for being annoying. It always wants to hold your hand. Ugh.
20. A portable power bank to get rid of all your "OMG-I'm-on-four-percent" fiascos.
21. A moisturizing salve made from a delicious blend of aloe and lavender essence. Goodbye, dehydrated hands and cuticles!
22. A candle snuffer to put out a flame without getting soot all of your walls. Trust me, it happens.
23. Comfy fleece slippers you'll fall in love with immediately. They'll steal a pizza your heart.
24. Gloves so unique, they look way more expensive than they actually are. Plus, these are touch-screen friendly.
25. A tape measure disguising itself as a gorgeous, wonderful, amazing, spectacular good boy.
26. Hot chocolate mix for the person who thinks that Cadbury goods are delicious creations dropped down from heaven.
27. A plush twisted snood you'll want to get immediately. You know what they say: if you snood, you lose.
28. Cleansing cloths perfect to store by your nightstand. You know, for nights when you're too lazy to wash your face.
29. Cable clips with sticky adhesive to organize your cords and keep them organized, dammit.
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