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1. A turtleneck sweater you'll want to look at the Amazon listing for, even if you don't have a four-legged best friend — the review images are so precious that my heart is in legitimate pain. I think I might cry.
2. A charcuterie board you'd likely find reciting prose on a balcony to a suave gentleman below. Perfect for Valentine's Day, this comes with all the necessities to make a cheese-fueled work of art: a ceramic dip dish and four cutting and spreading tools.
3. Embossed glass mugs perfect for both cappuccinos and cocktails, and you don't even have to be good at making the latter — these glasses make too-strong mixed drinks look like they were whipped up by a professional mixologist.
4. An over-the-sink drying rack for my fellow city dwellers who understand the struggle of limited countertop space. This hunk of collapsible silicone-coated stainless steel can store everything from pans to cutlery up to 50 lbs, but can easily be folded up and stored away when not in use.
5. A checkerboard throw blanket referred to by one reviewer's son as the "softest blanket ever" — and other reviewers commend this blanket for maintaining that softness, even after being thrown in the wash multiple times.
6. A Bissell carpet and upholstery cleaner, capable of lifting stubborn decades-old stains in minutes. The compact design means it's easy to lug around (and store), plus the attached tank is clear — that way you'll be able to watch with satisfaction as the water becomes increasingly dilluted with every pass of a couch cushion.
7. A pajama set with over 1,000 glowing reviews that scream "Target, you've done it again." This matching top and bottom set is made from a buttery soft fabric so lovely, you'll be belting out a Celine Dion ballad at first wear.
8. A tiered metal hanger designed for pesky articles of clothing that are annoying to fold, take up a ton of space, and are constantly being worn anyway, i.e. sports bras and tank tops.
9. A Bliss face scrub that exfoliates sensitive skin with gentle ingredients like papaya and pineapple enzymes. This sloughs away dead skin cells to reveal a canvas smoother than any baby's bottom, so talk about leaving only the good stuff ~behind,~ eh?
10. A lounge set made with a cozy waffle-knit material, which is ironic considering you'll adore this two-piece just as much as the doughy, syrup-drenched breakfast dessert.
11. A heat-resistant utensil to break up ground beef, stir sauces, scrape the sides of bowls while mixing, and mash potatoes (READ: not the dance) with ease.
12. A set of smartplugs you can control through a voice-enabled Alexa. Getting up in the middle of [yet another] Harry Potter marathon to turn off that obnoxiously bright lamp? Nope. Make Alexa do it instead.
13. Rain boots that have me contemplating a cross-country move to Seattle, Washington for an excuse to don these daily. All I want do is wear! these! boots! and jump! in! puddles!
14. A portable ambient lamp inspired by the crème de la crème of food groups, the only thing I want to eat at 11pm after a dinner full of fancy foods with my friends: toast.
15. A carton-shaped ceramic vase ideal for adding a retro touch to any kitchen, making any floral arrangement (whether dried pampas or a fresh bouquet) look like the inspiration behind a piece of art at the MoMA.
16. Tiny Pokemon figurines that — and I'm embarrassed to say this on the internet, I really am — brought me inexplicable joy when I first laid eyes on them. And cuteness aside, these are an adorable way to keep your phone propped up at your work desk.
17. A Bawdy Slap It! butt mask, which enlists the help of caffeine to detoxify and improve texture on your *ahem* derrière. This even has aloe leaf juice to improve butt-ne and orange leaf for exfoliation.
18. A Syphon coffee maker that was absolutely involved in the making of that Honey, I Shrunk The Kids breakfast scene. This clever contraption screams mad scientist chic in the best way possible — and reviewers swear it makes a truly divine cup of joe, which I suppose is important information as well.
19. A Vanicream facial moisturizer that believes less is more, aka this no-frills product is free of dyes, fragrance, parabens, and other "how do I pronounce this..." ingredients that give sensitive skin the ick. Pray tell, what does it use instead? Ceramides, hyaluronic acid, squalane, and glycerin.
20. String lights inspired by Hedwig, a foolproof way to make your bedroom magical while watching Harry make a fool of himself in The Chamber of Secrets. Diagonally? Come on.
21. An ice roller to help nix puffiness and swelling (did someone say lymphatic drainage?), as well as redness and inflammation caused from things like, say, an eyebrow wax. So in the wise words of a prophet: go ahead and ice ice baby.
22. Vinyl coasters to imply that your last Spotify Wrapped playlist was filled with cool, unique, up-and-coming indie artists (READ: it was actually all Abba and songs that went viral on TikTok).
23. A stand mixer for a quality dupe to the *ahem* more expensive brand name version. This bebe comes in pastel hues, is compact, and guarantees you'll be munching on all the important food groups (cake, bread, some mashed potatoes, and more cake).
24. An I Dew Care lip oil gloss, which has been granted holy grail status by reviewers for its hydrating blend of jojoba, sunflower seed oil, raspberry seed oil, and vitamin C. And in addition to moisture, a slight pink tint with a glossy finish is yours — for a little over $10.
25. A waterproof ski jacket ideal for whale watching in Alaska, trekking past glaciers in Iceland, and every cold activity in-between. TL;DR: This is the outerwear you'll want to pack for your next frigid vacation.
26. Personalized shampoo and conditioner individually tailored to suit your hair needs — simply complete a hair quiz before deciding on a color and fragrance. And said quiz? 'Tis legit. Prepare to bubble in quick questions about goals, structure, and scalp moisture (raise your hand if you, too, have oily roots that rival that of a New York pizza slice 🙃).
27. A double-sided electronics brush because that Dorito crumb has been lodged under the space key for *scratches head* quite a long time. This will keep your pricy laptop squeaky clean and prevent costly fixes in the future.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.