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1. Flip-flops for ~fancier~ occasions when you're trying to look somewhat put together.
2. Flip-flops made from cushioned, lightweight yoga mats. Om pretty sure I'll wear these 24/7.
Promising review: "These shoes are dynamite! I purchased them in pink — the color is very pretty, the bands are super smooth, and the soles are cushiony and provide great support. I feel like I'm walking on clouds!" —Kathleen
Get them from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in sizes 5-11 and four colors).
3. Strappy flip-flops available in a bunch of different colors. Fair warning: You'll want them all.
Promising review: "Holy moly, do I love these! I bought them as my 'walking sandals' for Vegas and literally never took them off. I put over 50 miles on these puppies right out of the package with no break-in period, and had zero blisters or sore feet even after walking all day for five days straight." —Samantha Griffen
Get them from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in sizes 5-12 and 29 colors).
4. Birkenstock sandals because it's my party and I'll wear Birkenstocks if I want to, dammit.
Promising review: "This is the most comfortable shoe I have ever worn, no joke. I highly recommend these shoes if you have heel pain and are looking for something you can wear all day, every day." —Julia Westerman
Get them from Amazon for $29.94+ (available in sizes 36EU-46EU and 11 colors).
5. Roxy flip-flops that refuse to leave the house without sea salt hairspray or a surfboard. Known to say things like "tubular."
Every time I see Roxy clothing, I think of surfers. I can't help it.
***Learning how to surf is one of my life goals, and if there are any instructors out there who would like to teach me, feel free to reach out.
Promising review: "I absolutely love these! Very comfortable and stylish." —Julie
Get them from Amazon for $19.46+ (available in sizes 5-11 and three colors).
6. Summer jellies with an adorable bow accent. One could even say that they're a-bow-able.
7. Metallic flip-flops with a voice of their own. Known to scream, "Treat yourself! Get a pedicure!"
Promising review: "These are the perfect plain flip-flop. They are very flat and slim, which is what I prefer. I thought they might hurt at the thong part, but they don't at all! I'm ordering these in additional colors now. I would recommend ordering one size up." —Ashlie Mckelvie
Get them from Amazon for $6+ (available in sizes 6-11 and eight colors).
8. Classic flip-flops in vibrant colors, because your feet shouldn't try so hard to fit in when they were born to stand out.
**Scroll down to the bottom of this article to find out which movie I'm referencing...if you don't already know.
Promising review: "I LOVE these — they're very thick and are made from a good quality rubber. I buy a pair every time my old ones start to wear thin, which happens about every three or four years. And I wear them a LOT!! This is the only brand of flip-flops I'll buy!" —Mommy Rizzo
Get them from Amazon for $9.98+ (available in sizes 4-13 and 20 colors).
9. Flip-flops with stretchy fabric that's basically like comfy socks, but for your ankles. And these won't slip.
Promising review: "Okay folks, I don't often leave product reviews, but the moment these amazing sandals/flip-flops were placed upon my feet, I swear I could hear my little tootsies SING! I have plantar fasciitis, and so I need supportive, cushy footwear. These sandals are perfect and are a DREAM to walk in!" —Scano The Mano
Get them from Amazon for $17.10+ (available in sizes 5-12 and 30 colors).
10. Thong flip-flops inspired by "Thong Song" by Sisqó. They, too, love living la vida loca.
11. Adidas flip-flops that scream, "I always volunteered to be Sporty Spice for Halloween group costumes."
12. Flip-flops made with terry cloth lining. Basically, you'll be wearing a Juicy Couture sweatsuit on your feet.
"Ah, Juicy Couture sweatsuits. Those were the days." —me to my grandkids
Promising review: "I've been a Reef customer for 15 years and love their shoes! I live in San Diego and wear mine everyday; my latest pair has lasted for almost five years!" —Demetrea Carrera
Get them from Amazon for $15.19+ (available in sizes 5-11 and two colors).
13. Flip-flops trying to disguise themselves as fancy sandals. And honestly, it's kind of working.
Promising review: "I originally bought these for my daughter, but I love them so much, I'm going to buy a pair for myself!" —Amazon Customer
Get them from Amazon for $10.46+ (available in sizes 5-11and four colors).
14. Flip-flops known to sing, "These flip-flops are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do."
And seriously, watch out. One day they're going to walk all over YOU.
Promising review: "I wear these shoes everywhere: home, school, vacations, etc. I walked 20 miles around Washington DC, 37 miles when I was in Vegas, etc., and I had no foot pain or arch issues." —Amy Porter
Get them from Amazon for $10.25+ (available in sizes 5-11 and 24 colors).
15. Simple flip-flops guaranteed to become your new summer staple and go-to shoe. They'll go with everything.
Promising review: "These are so cute! They are pretty narrow in length, so if you have a wide foot, these may not be for you. I will most likely buy them again!" —Robin Beckerson
Get them from Amazon for $14.99 (available in sizes 6-11 and 15 colors).
16. Flip-flops with adjustable straps that'll last you from now until the end of time.
"I will love you 'till the end of time..." —Lana Del Rey, singing about these shoes
Promising review: "LOVE these! I ordered a size 12, and these are so cushy/comfy/cozy! Both of my daughters loved the way they felt on their feet so much that I am going to be buying them some as well." —Stormy
Get them from Amazon for $14.91+ (available in sizes 5-12 and 14 colors).
17. Jelly sandals that are the perfect present. Why? They already come with a bow. Phew.
Get them from Amazon for $19.99+ (available in sizes 6-10 and three colors).
18. Flip-flops with a unique strap that'll have everyone asking, "Hey, where'd you get those?"
Promising review: "These are the best brand of flip-flops; I've been wearing them for years!" —Deannine Prentiss
Get them from Amazon for $9.60+ (available in sizes 6-12 and two colors).
19. Classic flip-flops you'll basically want to wear all summer long. Understandable.
20. Flip-flops for anyone who is looking for the equivalent of feet pajamas. This is it.
21. Supportive flip-flops designed with your arches in mind: Their contoured heels will keep your feet pain-free.
22. Comfortable flip-flops designed for the beach-each. They're constantly saying, "Let's go get away."
Promising review: "The best flip-flops I have been able to find! They're comfortable and sturdy. I just love them!" —Amazon Customer
Get them from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in sizes 6-11 and three colors).
Ladies and gentlemen, the answer is...WHAT A GIRL WANTS!
It's 2017 and I still have a crush on Ian Wallace.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.