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1. A coloring book designed to reveal the serious problems within the mermaid world. Bad shell service, for example.
2. Ice tongs with mittens because even *they* get cold sometimes. Sadly, North Face doesn't come in tong sizes.
3. Shakespearean insult bandages designed for those moments when thou hast fallen and can get up...
4. An inflatable unicorn horn that BuzzFeed cannot endorse. This can put your cat in imminent danger. Read the sad story below.
5. However, this wizarding hat MAY keep Voldemort wannabes at bay. Voldemort is scared of Dumbledore, after all.
6. Freudian slippers you won't regret buying. While id is a great investment, please note they don't do well with parents.
7. A pen set for the person sitting in front of you. You know, the one who never brings a writing utensil to school.
8. A spoon rest for utensils that suffer insomnia. This pillow guarantees better sleep, or your money back.
9. A yodeling pickle with the voice of Fergie and Jesus. But there have been some auto-tune rumors going around...
10. A french toast bread stamper guaranteed to give you a more authentic French breakfast.
While some people speak French, I get to eat French! Would ya look at that!
Get it from Amazon for $4.65.
11. A cheese grater that is so good, it's holy. Will leave you saying, "Cheese-us! What a nifty invention!"
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
12. A comprehensive guide designed to help you survive the garden gnome apocalypse. Because it is coming.
13. A plush pillow known to make buyers do crazy things like scream, "I LOVE BREAD!!" Basically turns you into Oprah.
Just a piece of bread to lay your head.
Get it from Amazon for $19.83.
***For a very healthy TBT, scroll down to the bottom of this article to say hi to Oprah's biggest fan.