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1.A turtleneck dress with lace detailing you'll want to pair with some denim and riding boots. All of that = the perfect outfit.
2.A cowlneck dress made from a super soft, super cozy jersey material. Will you want to sleep in this? Probably. Should you? Why the heck not!
3.A floral faux wrap dress currently on sale for 57% off, so I'm not quite sure what you're still doing here.
4.A metallic blazer dress you'll want to rock at your corporate holiday party this year. Why NOT trick your coworkers into thinking you lead a trendy lifestyle on the weekends?
5.A stretchy knit dress available in a banana bunch of colors — 27 to be exact! I wish you luck in all of your future "how am I supposed to choose just one" endeavors.
6.A fit-to-flare dress sure to add a bit of ~flair~ to your wardrobe. That neckline! Those stripes! THE SLEEVES! So yummy.
7.A turtleneck bodycon dress that laughs in the face of winter. Denim? Forget about it. Wear this fashion-forward piece instead.*
8.A ribbed knit dress so cozy, you'll want to lounge around the house whilst wearing it.
9.A swing dress in desperate need of an attitude adjustment. This thing is constantly giving me the ~cold~ shoulder.
10.A crepe shift dress in a fun cat print that will have you ~feline~ yourself every darn time you put it on!
11.A fitted sweater dress for shoulders that refuse to be tamed, à la Miley Cyrus in 2010.
12.A crewneck dress with pockets (!!!!) that will basically feel like an extension of your coziest, most beloved sweatshirt. Just pair this with some over-the-knee boots to become the epitome of ~fashun~.
13.A plaid a-line dress you can wear with any layer your heart desires. Long-sleeve tees! Blazers! Tights! Cardigans! It pairs perfectly with anything.
14.A ribbed sweater dress that stops right below the knee, so you won't have to worry about it being OMG-this-looks-like-a-top-WTF short.
15.A surplice dress featuring some gorgeous velvet and a fit-to-flare silhouette. Is that drool? Are you drooling? Well, this is awkward.
16.A sequin swing dress because NYE is fast approaching, and do we want to go through what we did last year? Frantically searching for a dress nine hours before the NYE party? Don't think so.
17.A fit-to-flare dress complete with an adorable bow to cinch at your waist. HELLO, HOURGLASS SILHOUETTE!
18.A faux wrap midi dress that can easily be worn with heels and a clutch or tights and booties. The choice, like the world, is yours!
19.A maxi dress perfect for all those damn dinners you already agreed to. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations — consider this your new uniform for anything remotely fancy.
20.A comfy dress to make you break out into some Alanis Morissette. With this dress, you'll have at least one hand in your pocket.
21.A semi-fitted fit-to-flare dress because who says florals can only be worn in the spring? They break the ground 365 days a year, Miranda Priestly.
22.A cap-sleeve ruffle dress that is the epitome of elegance. Just throw on some pearls and voilà! You'll be the 2018 version of Blair Waldorf.
23.A hooded sweatshirt dress for anyone who aspires to wear loungewear 24/7 — AKA the entire darn world. Constricting jeans? I don't know her.
24.An oversized sweater dress that will make you feel as if you've left the house wearing only your softest, most comfortable blanket.
25.A velvet mini dress currently being overshadowed by a very, very, VERY good boy.
26.A t-shirt dress you'll want to hide in the depths of your closet. Your siblings will 1000% try to steal it, and I don't want you to have to go through that kind of heartbreak.
27.A bodycon dress complete with a gorgeous fishtail hem that does not belong under the sea. It belongs in your closet instead, am I right?
28.A bell-sleeve mini dress available in a gorgeous, frosty blue hue that I may have just fallen irrevocably in love with.
29.A knit sweater dress made to give your curves a nice, warm bear hug. Plus, the material is super soft and will feel like happiness against your skin.
30.A slip dress you'll want to ~slip~ into right this second. Wear it with tights and booties for a casual look, with heels and a clutch for a fancier one.
31.A cowlneck fit-to-flare dress that can be worn with a blazer and BAM! You're now ready to (stylishly) tackle that important business meeting in the AM.
32.A crewneck dress you will find yourself grabbing off the hanger over and over again. This is seriously the perfect little black (and comfy) dress.
33.A v-neck midi dress best accessorized with a super chunky scarf. You know, for maximum coziness.
34.A shift dress made from the touch, the feel, the fabric of our lives — 100% cotton, baby. Organic cotton, to be specific.
"I don't need any more dresses," I said to myself.