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1.A Dash mini waffle maker so adorable, it *may* inspire you to replace that morning cereal bar with an actual sit-down breakfast. Anything edible in the shape of a pumpkin = a very happy me.
2.A skull-shaped lip balm because why shouldn't your beauty routine stay on-brand with the best season EVER? Not only does this scream Halloween, but rest assured that this isn't just some novelty product — the coconut and sweet almond oil extracts will actually moisturize your pout.
3.A knit sweater for the person who's having trouble letting go of summer (weird). The neon yellow combines the color palette you've been rocking for the past few months, while the cozy fabric will keep you warm on even the most crisp of fall days. Consider this the best of both worlds that Hannah Montana sang about.
4.A cozy blanket scarf best accessorized with a chunky sweater, riding boots, and sugar remnants of that apple cider donut you just ate.
5.A Poo-Pourri spray formulated with a concentrated blend of pumpkin, cinnamon, and citrus essential oils to neutralize funky toilet odors and transform your bathroom into a PSL oasis. (And yes, by neutralize odors, I mean the kind of odors that you cause.)
6.LED string lights for anyone ready to feel autumnal. This battery-powered garland is 14.7 feet long (the perfect length for hanging over your banister — see photo proof below) and is designed with eight different light settings that range from twinkle to flashing settings.
7.A Hocus Focusfan guide more lit than the black flame candle. This witchy book contains a ton of behind-the-scenes stories and fun facts about the movie, which basically means that it's already quietly resting in my Amazon shopping cart.
8.A 101-piece Wilton basking set packed with alphabet, number, and holiday cutters that includes a wide range of ~spooky~ shapes. Have you ever bit into a chocolate chip creation in the shape of a bat, pumpkin, witch, or cat? Because it basically tastes better.
9.A pillow cover to transform your living room into an idyllic pumpkin patch, except there are no pumpkins because you live in a city and the closest thing you can experience to farmland is the dog park you frequent in order to stare at other people's dogs. It's hard.
10.A slicer and corer that is a must-have for apple picking season (and will perhaps even motivate you to consume the excessive amount of apples you've picked). This handy dandy gadget will give you an evenly-cut snack in jiffy, and is ~easy as pie~ to use.
11.Nail decals that add a touch of magic to your fingertips. The best part? Even an at-home manicure newbie will think they're easy to use — just ~stick~ a design onto your nail, seal it in with a coat of clear polish, and voilà! You're done.
12.A carving kit because the dull butter knife you've been using to create your jack-o-lantern? It simply won't do. This 12-piece set makes it so much easier to clean pumpkin innards and map out your designs, resulting in a pumpkin that actually looks somewhat decent.
13.A cowl neck tunic for the perfect blend of comfort and versatility. In conclusion, I hereby dub this as the top to wear on any and all fall-themed excursions that involve apples, farms, haunted houses, and so on.
14.A Jack Skellington Funko POP you should purchase with caution. I've heard it can be an absolute nightmare to deal with. Especially before Christmas. (Please hold your "that joke was cringe-y" laughter for the end of this post.)
15.A collared dress for the DIY Halloween connoisseur. Not only can you add this dress to your everyday wardrobe rotation, but Wednesday Addams? Madeline? Eleven from Stranger Things? All in the realm of costume possibility.
16.A Bliss pumpkin mask formulated with pumpkin puree, lemon powder, rice powder, and shea butter to gently exfoliate your skin. The result? A hydrated, glowing complexion that looks like it actually drinks the recommend eight glasses of water per day.
17.Leg warmer cuffs you can layer under your favorite riding boots for a more ~elevated~ look. This accessory is brought to you by one Spencer Hastings, who absolutely wore these while trotting through Rosewood in a peacoat, trying to cram for her next AP exam while also trying to not be murdered.
18.A microwave- and dishwasher-safe ceramic mug designed with a *muahahaha* evil surprise at the bottom. Is your coffee laced with poison? Probably not! The skull at the bottom is sure to have you wondering, though.
19.A four-sided brush cleaner for when when it's time to finally break out the suede booties. This easily cleans away scuff marks and salt stains with little to no effort required, making it the perfect thing to have on-hand for after you've gone apple picking. On a farm. Where there is quite a lot of dirt. The kind that will leave marks on your shoes.
20.A burlap banner that adds a touch of ~fall vibes~ to even the dreariest of settings. This includes, but is not limited to, your dimly-lit cubicle, which is in desperate need of some autumnal cheer.
21.A Foodstirs baking kit with everything you need to make the below ~sparkly apple bites~, which are basically the more autumnal, Instagram-ready version of your favorite chewy oatmeal bar.
22.A hand-painted doormat because nothing says home sweet home like an autumnal doorway accessory. Can I please keep this out all year long? Asking for a fall-obsessed friend.
23.A three-wick candle that smells like a fresh fall morning. But what does a fresh fall morning smell like, you ask? It smells like sage, citrus, and red apples — the kind of aroma I'd like to bottle up and wear as a perfume, TBH.
24.An Essie polish available in a staple color that will never let you down: WICKED. This deep red hue is sure to become the ~little [almost] black dress~ of your fall manicure routine, with a high gloss finish that won't clash with whatever you're wearing. Ever.
25.A John Frieda brunette-enhancing glaze for anyone who wants to hold off on an expensive salon visit, but still wants to slightly darken their 'do in celebration of autumn. This weekly treatment focuses on maximizing shine for a mirror-like effect while bringing out your natural brown color (and covering up grays/summer highlights).
26.A Le Creuset bird funnel currently ~flying~ into your shopping cart because it a) acts as a vent to stop the contents of your pie from boiling over, and b) ensures that the bottom of the crust won't become soggy. This bird = your key to best homemade pie you'll ever make.
27.A faux fur throw blanket to keep you warm and cozy during your annual scary movie marathon. Just an aside that scary in this situation means you're watching Hocus Pocus, which is the extent to which you can handle spooky stuff.
28.An anniversary set of your favorite Goosebumps books, because nothing says "Halloween" like the scary stories that prompted night light use throughout your childhood.
29.An iPhone case that I would argue is appropriate for every single day, of every single week, of every single month, of every single year. Halloween is not a season, 'tis a lifestyle.
Me, chasing all the crunchy leaves and pretending it's not still 80°F outside: