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    17 Things Everyone With A Welsh Grandmother Knows

    "Where to is the butter? I need to get you another teacake, bach."

    1. A planned visit to nan's means one thing: Welsh cakes hot off the griddle.

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    Bring the tupperware.

    2. There's nothing you can say to stop her describing her weekly catch-up with the girls to you.

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    Half an hour in and you still don't know who Dilys and Bronwen are.

    3. But she has no problem with telling you to shut up when her show is coming on the radio or telly.

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    Her membership in Chris Needs Friendly Garden Association matters.

    4. She will scowl at you if you flash your "midriff", wear ripped jeans, get a tattoo, or forget to put a belt on.

    This is despite the fact that she often wore cheeky outfits to the church disco.

    5. And your changing hairstyles baffle her.

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    She's been getting the same cut at Eluned's for 40 years and it's never done her any harm.

    6. She will comment on how you are too skinny or chubby, then force-feed you with her bountiful supply of sweet treats.

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    How do grandmothers know our weakness?

    7. You suspect she is running her own curtain-twitcher club and that she is the chief and only member.

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    Loves the goss, does nan.

    8. It is possible to use her winnings at the local bingo hall as your main income.

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    Hardcore dabber action.

    9. Even though you bought her a four-slice toaster, she is adamant the best toast is made by waving bread on a hot metal poker in front of her coal fire.

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    10. If she sees the milkman, she'll start a rant about how "they're all crooks", just because she once received gold top instead of blue top from one in the '60s.

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    11. When you open the drawer of her Welsh dresser, you're greeted with this:

    At least nobody in your family will ever go cold.

    12. She is a bottomless fount of knowledge when it comes to dealing with life's big problems.

    13. When she really dislikes what someone has to say, she'll mutter "malu cachu" under her breath, thinking nobody else will hear.

    14. She will have taught you everything you could possibly know about how your ancestors were involved in mining.

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    Turns out you have a lot to be proud of.

    15. She will class your significant other in the same way she classes all youngsters: as either a nice boy/girl or a bad lot.

    16. You can bet that she'll tell your friends or partner or anyone who will listen about your most embarrassing moments.

    17. Best of all, you know that you'll get the biggest, squishiest, and warmest hug when you meet because you love each other to pieces.

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