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Ryan Lochte's Seldom Changing Face: A Tribute

Ryan Lochte. He has the lips of a guppy, the agility of a dolphin, the body of a man — and about as many facial expressions as a highly controlled public figure, like Mitt Romney (famous for: pensive stare) or Katie Holmes (famous for: that smirk). Let's take a look at a few of the expressions in Our Manly Love Lochte's emotional arsenal.

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Expression One: The "Am I as Awesome as I Think I Am?" Face.

Usage: Most commonly in the pool, after a match, as subject awaits his standing — and the attention of cameras from international media outlets who will undoubtedly ham up Subject's rare sort of pansexual hotness. Also common when Subject awaits instruction from a coach.

Also Seen: When Subject is dry, either accepting a medal or getting psyched up before a race. Occasionally, the "Am I as Awesome as I Think I Am?" Face is the precursor to speaking to a fellow swimmer, most commonly Michael Phelps.

A Photo Catalog:

Expression Two: The "I Think I AM as Awesome as I Think I Am!" Face

Defined as: The early stages of a full smile or, quite simply, a grin; the right side of the mouth pulls up slightly more than the left for a smirk-y K-Holmes flavor.

Usage: Most commonly in the pool when results have been realized but not fully processed by subject.

Also seen: Maybe before or after sex? I wouldn't know, but I imagine Subject having this reaction to taking a girl home or watching her walk out the door in the morning.

Photo catalog:

Expression Three: The "Waiting to Inhale" Face.

Defined as: Mouth agape, lips either slightly or extremely askew, for the purpose of breathing while Subject swims faster than anyone in the whole world.

Usage: Always while swimming. It is the blowhole of Subject who is not a fish but has the most winning aquatic characteristics of one.

Also seen: Nowhere yet, unless Subject's extreme feeding routine requires this sort of oral gymnastics?

Photo catalog:

Bonus Enjoyable Faces: The One-Offs

YOU GO, RYAN! WE LOVE YOU!!

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