On Monday, Reddit user u/Sam_21000 asked, "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?" People came through with some spot-on examples of parenting trends that are frankly bizarre, unproductive, and problematic.
Here's what they said:
1. Recording punishments:
"Recording your children when you punish them. That's private — not for the public. Anything posted on the internet lasts forever. And children are cruel — wait until kids at school see. They will carry that their entire lives."
2. No adjectives allowed:
"My neighbor is a 'crunchy mom' wannabe influencer. She will not allow adjectives to be used when speaking with her toddler or baby. They are supposed to discover descriptive words through exploration of their environment. I’m sort of unclear on how they are supposed to discover words that are never spoken, like colors, size, or shape."
3. Overly strict with outdoor activity:
"My wife and I are basically neighborhood pariahs because we allow our children to ride their bikes around our quiet, low crime suburban town. I've had a parent flat out tell me he won't allow his son to come over without him because I might do something crazy like let them shoot hoops on the basketball net out front without standing there watching them."
4. Door removal:
"Removing doors when your kid asks for privacy. You just kind of prove why they want a door."
5. Posting a child's entire life online:
"It's one thing to include a family picture with everyone. But putting a child's entire life online, without their consent, isn't good."
—u/Funandgeeky
6. Refusing to say "I'm sorry":
"Never apologizing to your child about any mistakes you make out of avoidance of seeming 'weak,' even if you're wrong and they deserve one."
7. Copying other parents just because:
"Disciplining children based on what other parents are doing — just because it works for one kid, doesn't mean it work for others."
8. Over-scheduling:
"When I was teaching, I remember my kindergartners telling me they had no time to play because every day consisted of non-stop structured sports, dance and such."
—u/Kitchen-Witching
9. Oversharing:
"Oversharing stuff about your kids on social media. A picture of little Johnny's poop in the potty is not cute, it's disgusting. You wouldn't post a picture of your own feces in the toilet, doesn't make any difference coming from a two-year-old."
10. Silent treatment:
"Parents who give their children 'the silent treatment.' Going hours, days, or longer without speaking, making the children feel guilty, ashamed, and confused about what the real problem is instead of dealing with it openly and forthrightly. Communication is key."
11. Using an iPad to preoccupy your child:
"My sister-in-law preoccupies her kid, and has since birth with a tablet. He is now 12 and has no friends and zero interpersonal skills. He takes his iPad to dinner, to grandmas, to church and never talks to anyone."
12. Sharing your child's secrets with family:
"As a teenager, I absolutely hate how family members will spill private secrets and constantly complain and make jokes about you on the telephone or when families gather. Also responding to you in a very snotty attitude. I think that's a big reason I am insecure and have social anxiety."
13. Making your child scared of failure:
"Making your child terrified to fail. I gave up on so many things because I repeatedly got degraded if I wasn’t instantly an expert."
14. Ignoring yelling/screaming in public:
"Letting your kids scream and jump around the restaurant while pretending it’s not going on."
15. Never saying "no":
"Not saying 'no' to your children. I don't understand the logic. Setting behavioral boundaries and maintaining those boundaries through black and white logic makes perfect sense to me."