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It's an undeniable fact that we'd rather listen to Stassi freak out on her birthday or watch Ramona engage in some ~turtle time~ than do... anything else.
We eat, sleep, and breathe these shows, so it only felt right to pull together some products Bravo fanatics can properly enjoy. Here are our faves:
1. A customized tweet from one of your fave Bravo stars (or Chrissy Teigen) to hang wherever you do your most binge-watching.
2. A NeNe Leakes–inspired mug that'll makes you say "bloop!" so many times you'd think it was the Watch What Happens Live word of the night.
3. Andy Cohen's Most Talkative book, because he is the king of Bravo and you should really take the time to get to know him!
4. A shirt to remind your friends and family you are "the devil, and don't you forget it," like Stassi often told Jax in the first season of Vanderpump Rules.
5. And a coloring book retelling of that same season, so perfect you won't even want to ruin its beauty with markers.
6. A Top Chef long sleeve you can wear while chopping veggies so flawlessly Padma would applaud you.
7. Real Housewives–themed Guess Who that'll really add some drama to your next game night.
8. A custom pet caftan from Patricia's Couture to show off your love for both your furry friend and the undeniable grand dame of Southern Charm.
9. The Art of Southern Charm, a lifestyle guide that covers everything from how to throw a cocktail party to how to dish out sassy insults like “shameless strumpet.”
10. Or a special edition velvet pillow will celebrate the fact Craig FINALLY pulled it together and successfully collaborated with Patricia!
11. A liquid stainless steel kit can turn your (GASP!) white fridge into one that looks ~gone with the wind fabulous~.
12. A doormat that'll ask your guests the most important question of ALL TIME as soon as they approach your home.
13. A "Witches of WeHo" sweatshirt from Kristen Doute's clothing line to feel like you're part of the Pump Rules girl gang.
14. Candles featuring Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen you can light while praying they finally stop talking about Lucy Lucy Apple Juice on RHOBH.
15. Socks any respectable, Bravo-loving man will love wearing as they tune into the new season of Below Deck.
16. Or a onesie to let the world know your little one is, just like Jax Taylor, the number one guy in this group.
17. A wine glass that'll become your go-to accessory for those blissful weekends when Bravo replays classic Orange County episodes.
18. A case of blk beverages, so you can pay homage to the greatness that was Manzo'd with Children.
19. A "Craig Is My Lawyer" T-shirt produced by Shep Gear, a must-wear for the next time you go watch a polo match.
20. Skinnygirl vodka, because what would this list be without including the (probably) most notable brand to come out of a Housewives franchise?
21. And a Skinnygirl cocktail book, to inspire you ~mix up~ some Bethenny-approved beverages for your next RHONY marathon.
22. An apron you can wear while you're cooking a traditional Italian feast, because sometimes it IS about the pasta.
23. Or this T-shirt version of the iconic moment, so you can wear it in places other than your kitchen.
24. A baby shower card that'll have your Bravo BFF cackling — fingers crossed they don't try to give your *heartfelt* gift back.
25. A hilarious poster to justify how often you scream "Jovani!" around your house.
26. And an actual Jovani dress, a must-have for any true RHONY fanatic's closet.
27. A classic "Mazel" tee, like the ones Andy used to give out to guests back in the early days of WWHL.
28. A lipstick or gloss from Give Them Lala Beauty, to assure you will NEVER be "boring to speak to" nor "boring to look at."
29. And a shot ski, of course, because what kind of Bravo fan are you if you don't beg your roomies to do this with you weekly?
30. A copy of Stassi's upcoming book Next Level Basic: The Definitive Basic Bitch Handbook so you can learn how to love your birthday, murder, and ranch as much as the self-proclaimed Queen of Basicness.
31. Or a copy of Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever that you'll find ~instructional~.
32. A T-shirt with Margaret's iconic line, because you're probably still working it into convos at least once a week.
33. A bathing suit from the confusingly named Beverly Beach by Dorit line.
34. A blue ribbon to give to your boyfriend who you casually mention at least five times a minute.
35. Or a stemless wine glass to drink white wine (or really any wine) while honoring the best thing that's come out of the Stassi-Scheana feud.
36. A T-shirt for those hungover mornings on vacation when your girlfriends are being all, like, uncool.
37. A solemn print that'll commemorate the short-lived marriage of Luann and Tom. It might have lasted less than a year, but the drama will live on in our hearts forever.
38. A mug for when you're hangry and want to channel the energy of the best child from any Housewives franchise, Miss Milania Guidice.
39. A card you can send to anyone in your life who's on the brink of having a Kathryn Dennis–style glow-up. We're proud of you, girl!
40. Or this card for the person you love the most in your life, because there is no love as true as the love between Sandoval and Schwartz.
41. And a card to make your Real Housewives of Dallas–loving friend cackle as hard as they do every time LeeAnne Locken's "Round-up" speech gets played on Bravo.
42. Finally, a banner for your next RHONY watch party to let all your guests know that you decorated, you cooked, and you MADE 👏 IT 👏 NICE.