Posted on Nov 5, 2022

19 Disastrous Dating App Conversations And Bios That Prove Online Dating Is Basically A Form Of Torture

I've said it once and I'll say it again: The bar is on the floor.

by Hannah Dobrogosz

BuzzFeed Staff

Text: Truth or dare? Truth! Kind of a weird question but do you have big areolas? lol

"Hey, you planning on being a washing machine for Halloween? 'Cause I wanna put a load inside you" Response: "You planning on being the Grinch? 'Cause I wouldn't touch you with a 39 1/2-foot poll"

Women are terrible, I hate all of you! Some guy rejects u who u don't know and u take it personal; i don't have time to waste, let's go on a freakin' date because I'm not texting for 2 weeks; worst case is you lose 30 mins of your precious life

Hey how's it going; response: Nothing much Horny as fuck Fuck me sexy baby

"The key to my heart is emotional intimacy and mutual understanding and acceptance"; response: "That's a pretty high bar for the average man, best of luck out there"

Woman responds to text by asking if the guy will Uber Eats her breakfast, and he says he only pays for a girl's food on a date, but he's not going to Uber Eats her something before they even meet

He really wants a "female helper," a 1950s woman with a job who can also cook, clean, etc, but otherwise he'll just hook up with you

"Hey what are you up to? Your pictures are gorgeous"; "Hah thank you! I'm just working; how about yourself?" "Fuck you stupid bitch"

Sends this message twice: "Hey gorgeous hows you? So if we were both squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your mouth?" Response: "Sorry I'm allergic to nuts"

"He's a good little guy"; "You also look like a good little girl; do you also have any delicious food nickname?" "This is definitely in my top 10 weirdest Tinder messages I've received, I'll give you that"

"Sleeping is my only late night shenanigan"; response: "I need to jerk off before I go to sleep"; "Alrighty buddy, so here's the thing, I didn't ask"

"I love this app because it shows the hypocrisy of girls demanding interesting conversation/openers and then only knowing how to start a convo with 'hey'"

Hi! I think you are a perfect and beautiful Goddess who deserves to be worshipped and pampered! I would love to worship and massage your divine feet if you would like my Goddess!"

40+, never married, 2 adult children, #damaged: I'm not a "nice guy," I don't care about your kids or your pets, I don't want to marry you or pay your rent, I am honest and kind, looking for a cuddle buddy, maybe we make out a little but I don't put out

"Before you go to bed, would you rather watch something you've never seen before or something you've seen 1,000 times?" "Something I've never seen before"; "Send me your pussy"

"How's your day going? No tacos lol" and after some chitchat says, "You didn't answer the taco question, you're kinda being a robot," and when other person asks "What taco question?" responds, "Oh yeah dang, you're not even trying to be interested lol"

He's 6'3", interests include feminism and heavy metal, and has a list of "don't evens," which include making less than $100K, being over 35, being a single mother, having a body count over 10, being fat, and having over 100K IG followers

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