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    22 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Bra Fitter

    The perfect strapless push-up plunge bra with attachable multi-way straps does not exist.

    1. A DD is not as big as you think it is.

    FreemantleMedia Enterprises

    We know you think DDs = Pamela Anderson's boobs, but there are a whole load of other factors at play. So you might think you have perfectly average-sized boobs and end up buying a 32G. Just trust us: We know what we're doing.

    2. We're surprisingly good at maths.

    3. Some of us use tape to measure you, and some of us can do it by eye.

    4. Most customers get really intimidated by standing in front of a stranger in a bra.

    5. Whereas others will just whip their boobs out as soon as they get behind the changing-room door.

    Domino Records

    But you can actually keep it on. The way the bra sits on you tells us all we need to know.

    6. When someone brings in a dress like this and expects to find the perfect bra, we die a little inside.

    7. Every collection has at least one bra that doesn't seem to fit anyone.

    8. We know more bra facts than we'd like to admit. For example: Bras tend to last between six and nine months.

    9. Handwashing them keeps them in better condition for longer.

    10. And most people wear their bra too loose, with their straps too low.

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    If your bra is too tight, try going up a back size and down a cup size. For example, if a 32F fits on the cup but feels a bit tight, try a 34E.

    11. No one seems to listen when we say you need to fit two fingers round the back of your bra.

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    If it's any looser, it's basically just an expensive boob decoration.

    12. And dark bras need to be even more loose, because their ink makes them feel tighter.

    13. The strapless push-up plunge bra with attachable multi-way straps that is also super supportive does. Not. Exist.

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    We're trained professionals, but we're not miracle workers.

    14. If it's quiet on the shop floor, we'll take the opportunity to try on all the bras in the stock room.

    15. Which means there's at least one topless employee in the back at any given time, asking for opinions on whether they should buy the bra or not.

    Universal Pictures

    16. Then we'll use our staff discount to spend all our money on pretty lingerie.

    17. At least once a week someone will come in and demand a refund because they lost or gained weight and their bra no longer fits.

    Freemantle Media

    This tests our game face to the extreme.

    18. And sometimes people try to return pants.

    Fox

    I mean, really?

    19. Even though we'd never advise you to, we'll risk the dreaded double boob by stuffing our Gs into an FF.

    Columbia

    If it's an old bra that we're fond of, we won't give up on it.

    20. People who drop bras on the floor while we fit them are the literal worst.

    Worldwide Pants

    Just hand them to us or pop them on the changing-room hooks. Please.

    21. Every single bra code is imprinted on our brain forever.

    Universal Pictures

    #AU15BL32GG

    22. But actually, being a bra fitter is pretty great.

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