1. A DD is not as big as you think it is.
We know you think DDs = Pamela Anderson's boobs, but there are a whole load of other factors at play. So you might think you have perfectly average-sized boobs and end up buying a 32G. Just trust us: We know what we're doing.
2. We're surprisingly good at maths.
Working out your cup size, back size, which cut you want, and how the colour will affect the fit is actually quite hard. So practising it all day means our mental arithmetic is 10/10.
3. Some of us use tape to measure you, and some of us can do it by eye.
Both methods work; it just depends on the way we were taught.
4. Most customers get really intimidated by standing in front of a stranger in a bra.
But there's no need! We're basically desensitised to boobs, so we'll barely give yours a second thought.
5. Whereas others will just whip their boobs out as soon as they get behind the changing-room door.
But you can actually keep it on. The way the bra sits on you tells us all we need to know.
6. When someone brings in a dress like this and expects to find the perfect bra, we die a little inside.
Bringing in your dress is helpful, but we can't perform miracles. Sorry.
7. Every collection has at least one bra that doesn't seem to fit anyone.
And we dread you picking it up and asking us to fit you with it all afternoon.
8. We know more bra facts than we'd like to admit. For example: Bras tend to last between six and nine months.
But even professional bra fitters cling on to their old faves, so don't worry.
9. Handwashing them keeps them in better condition for longer.
That's why we always advise you to do so at the till.
10. And most people wear their bra too loose, with their straps too low.
If your bra is too tight, try going up a back size and down a cup size. For example, if a 32F fits on the cup but feels a bit tight, try a 34E.
11. No one seems to listen when we say you need to fit two fingers round the back of your bra.
If it's any looser, it's basically just an expensive boob decoration.
12. And dark bras need to be even more loose, because their ink makes them feel tighter.
Confusing, huh?
13. The strapless push-up plunge bra with attachable multi-way straps that is also super supportive does. Not. Exist.
We're trained professionals, but we're not miracle workers.
14. If it's quiet on the shop floor, we'll take the opportunity to try on all the bras in the stock room.
We have to pass the time somehow.
15. Which means there's at least one topless employee in the back at any given time, asking for opinions on whether they should buy the bra or not.
16. Then we'll use our staff discount to spend all our money on pretty lingerie.
There are some perks of the job.
17. At least once a week someone will come in and demand a refund because they lost or gained weight and their bra no longer fits.
This tests our game face to the extreme.
18. And sometimes people try to return pants.
I mean, really?
19. Even though we'd never advise you to, we'll risk the dreaded double boob by stuffing our Gs into an FF.
If it's an old bra that we're fond of, we won't give up on it.
20. People who drop bras on the floor while we fit them are the literal worst.
Just hand them to us or pop them on the changing-room hooks. Please.
21. Every single bra code is imprinted on our brain forever.
#AU15BL32GG
22. But actually, being a bra fitter is pretty great.
We give confidence to people with body issues, support women who've had mastectomies, and make everyone look great. What's not to love?!
