Here’s What “Cosmopolitan” Would Look Like If It Were Run By Karl Marx

Because what’s the point of subverting bourgeois ideology if you can’t look sexy doing it?

1. August, 1849

Learn how to get the most exchange value out of your facial hair.

2. September, 1849

His love for you certainly isn’t false consciousness, baby.

3. October, 1849

Mao suits = definitely skanky.

4. November, 1849

Commodities aren’t the only things being fetishized here.

5. December, 1849

He loves to explore both his woman’s base and her superstructure.

All covers via Cosmarxpolitan.

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