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23 Things I Learned From A Mansplanation Of Gender Differences And Feminism

It's about as bad as you'd expect.

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1. First of all, men and women are all just 100%, completely different. It's science.

Meme Center / Via global3.memecdn.com

And, I mean, who am I to defy science itself?

2. Like for example - did you know that women have lots of a hormone called "estrogen"? This is why every woman loves hugging babies and always thinks they're really cute.

Men, on the other hand, shouldn't be around babies until they hit about 12 months.
MTV / Via remotecontrol.mtv.com

Men, on the other hand, shouldn't be around babies until they hit about 12 months.

3. See, men have this other hormone called "testosterone." This is why men feel the same warm and fuzzy feelings toward weight lifting equipment that women would feel toward babies.

Nickelodeon / Via i.ytimg.com

Sorry, babies, you're just not very "manly."

4. This totally makes sense though because - again, science - all men are just stronger than all women. All real men, that is.

This is why it is not only rude, but alack, unnatural for a man to let a woman do some heavy lifting.
FOX / Via img3.wikia.nocookie.net

This is why it is not only rude, but alack, unnatural for a man to let a woman do some heavy lifting.

5. If it's something pretty light, like a folding chair, it's still better for a man to lift it because men have a "pride thing."

Male pride is an unchanging scientific fact, though. It's not like if a woman were prideful because then that's just a character flaw that she could probably work on overcoming.
Disney / Via blogger.com

Male pride is an unchanging scientific fact, though. It's not like if a woman were prideful because then that's just a character flaw that she could probably work on overcoming.

6. So, since men have all this pride, they like, NEED to be able to pursue a woman and provide for her. Like, that's the one goal that should shape every man's life - STRICTLY scientifically speaking of course.

I mean, that's just how it was in Neanderthal times, and really, not much has changed since then.
NBC / Via d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net

I mean, that's just how it was in Neanderthal times, and really, not much has changed since then.

7. But now, we're telling women that they can pursue a man. And that is just not supposed to happen.

Via i1086.photobucket.com

Like, it's ruining everything.

8. And, get this - WE"RE ALSO TELLING THE WOMEN THAT IT'S OK FOR THEM TO PROVIDE FOR THEMSELVES.

Via i1086.photobucket.com

Leaving men feeling aimless, lackadaisical, and emasculated.

9. That's sending the message that women can be independent and take care of things themselves. Uh-oh.

Via wordpress.com

Independence = BAD. Men and women NEED each other. Women need men to provide them with the very things we all need to live, while men are counting on women to carefully ensure their pride remains unscathed.

10. So, ever since women started encroaching on the male-dominated workplace, men's identity has been stolen from them.

Via persephonemagazine.com

SNATCHED, y'all.

11. This is also why the divorce rate is so high.

Breach ya gender roles, breach ya wedding vows. #slipperyslope
Via giphy.com

Breach ya gender roles, breach ya wedding vows. #slipperyslope

12. Men's productivity at work is basically cut in half because of the women there. Have you seen what they wear?!

NBC / Via tumblr.com

13. Women, scientifically speaking, do not have this problem.

FOX / Via blogger.com

What? No, no. It's not a self-control thing. It's science, people, come on.

14. See, according to science, if a woman is around, a man simply CANNOT focus on anything but getting her attention.

Via giphy.com

Just like the rest of the animal kingdom - peacocks, antelope, and the like.

15. Women wanting to act and dress all sexy is just straight up ruining gender relationships.

Via survivingcollege.com

Women can't understand what it's like to be visually stimulated because their brains aren't wired that way.

16.Women need to make it easier for the men to focus on their work productivity by dressing conservatively. This way, men won't be forced into giving into their scientifically dictated urge to ogle and sexually harass female co workers.

Ugh, NO, it's NOT because of society's hypersexualization of women and centuries of men's entitlement to women's bodies. It's SCIENCE.
Sports Illustrated / Via razorfine.com

Ugh, NO, it's NOT because of society's hypersexualization of women and centuries of men's entitlement to women's bodies. It's SCIENCE.

17. Aside from the problems they cause male workers, women shouldn't really have important positions in the workplace because, scientifically, they are too much of emotional thinkers.

FOX / Via static.tvguide.com

No emotion needed to work with people. Cannot compute. Beep beep.

18. Men are the real problem solvers! That's how it's always been! They started the wars! They made civilization! They're just meant to be in charge.

Because apparently, starting thousands of wars is a good thing?
Via wordpress.com

Because apparently, starting thousands of wars is a good thing?

19. But women are well-suited to manipulating (because boobs), so technically, they did accomplish a lot throughout history!

Via images4.fanpop.com

There are TWO exceptions: Cleopatra and Joan of Arc. They made stuff happen.

20. Feminism WAS good when it started - it's nice that women can go to college and vote.

NBC / Via tumblr.com

YAY!

21. But, then the lesbians ruined it with their man-hating.

Still waiting for the science to back that one up, I surmise.
Via s8.favim.com

Still waiting for the science to back that one up, I surmise.

22. Then all women were just like, "Science? Nah, I wanna be independent and educated and have life goals that may or may not include being a housewife."

Via mojo.dailybruin.com

Everyone just bought into it, and that's why romance and the economy has gone to hell in a handbasket.

23. Feminism accomplished its goals a crazy long time ago. Now its just destroying men. We don't need it. Get rid of it.

Put that apron back on, Carol.
Via tumblr.com

Put that apron back on, Carol.

Well, praise the Lord for the enlightened few who can reveal these truths to us.

Bravo / Via media.giphy.com

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