Anyone who's been in a long(ish)-term relationship knows that things can get real weird REAL FAST. Especially when you do things with your S.O. that others consider ~strange~.
Well this week, Reddit user Pfeiferrm asked "What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done with your S.O.?", and the responses ranged from silly to icky to random, but all are absolutely hilarious.
Here are just a few of the strangest, most adorable responses:
1. This professional "boop" competition:
"We compete for First Boop of the Year (FBotY). A 'boop' is when you poke a nose softly with your index finger. FBotY is very important and prestigious. I have won FBotY four out of six years that we've been playing. The first year we did FBotY, we fought for the boop and almost poked our eyes out in the process. Plus, it made the New Year's kiss very tense because we each wanted to win first boop immediately after the kiss."
2. This wax-off:
"We waxed each others butts with an at-home waxing kit. We just wanted to know what waxing was like, so we bought a kit at Walgreens. As weird as it sounds, it was actually kind of a sweet moment between us. We hadn’t even been together a full year yet, and I had never been so intimate and vulnerable with another person before. I remember feeling so comfortable with him after that, like I could trust him with anything."
3. This pet narration:
"We narrate our dogs' thoughts in different accents. He does a French accent for our male dog and I do a Spanish accent for our female dog (no idea why those were picked, it just kind of happened)."
4. This alien sex:
"Sometimes we lift our shirts up and press our nipples together (she's shorter than me, so she has to lift her boobs up and squeeze them together so our nipples line up) and we close our eyes and go 'Wom wom wom wom, that's how aliens have sex.'"
5. This butt-touch:
"We slide our soapy, wet butts against each other when we shower together. Do it. It's awesome."
6. This plot twist:
"It’s embarrassing to admit, but I sometimes pretend that his penis is a worm attacking 'Pube town.' I'll grab it and start wiggling it around. He finds it amusing and I enjoy being weird. Plus, I come up with new plots every time."
7. This public embarrassment:
"We pretend like we think the other person can’t see us in public places to embarrass each other. Like he’ll be at a water fountain at the mall and he’ll start waving his arms wildly and get more and more frantic to get my attention, even though he knows I see him."
8. This screaming contest:
"Sometimes my S.O. and I will do this competitive thing where we scream into each other's mouths to see who can last the longest. It's like a weird sort of open mouth kiss and we stare bug-eyed at the other as we do it. We mostly do this in front of friends when we want to get a cheap laugh. I always initiate it."
9. This stranger danger:
"I pretend I don't know my husband at the grocery store, so when he tries putting things in our cart I yell, 'SIR! FOR THE LAST TIME STOP PUTTING YOUR GROCERIES IN MY CART!'"
10. This handy helper:
"My boyfriend let me aim for him while he was peeing once. I asked if I could help as a joke while I was in the bathroom for something else and he was like, ‘Uhhh?’ It wasn’t a 'No,' and I’m the type to play chicken in the ‘How weird will you let me get’ sense. It’s a lot harder to aim than it looks."
—kjpg
11. This worm sacrifice:
"We were out for a walk and it was drizzling, so there were a bunch of earthworms out on the sidewalks. He said, 'If you really love me, you'll eat one of these worms.' I picked one of those bad boys up and down the hatch it went. He was shocked as hell. 18 years and going."
12. This communal pee:
"One time when we got home from a bar, both of us had to pee. She sat and peed, but spread her legs enough to let me pee between them into the toilet at the same time. I knew she was the one."
13. This post-verbal communication:
"We communicate in screeches and animal noises for extended periods of time. It's to the point where certain noises have consistent meanings. Like, a high-pitched parrot squeal means 'I would like you to pay attention to me' and a low, throaty gurgle means 'I'm okay with this option, but I would prefer something else.' We can go for hours without actually talking."
14. This nightly ritual:
"Every night for close to eight years now, I rattle the light on the night stand, my wife makes a completely absurd face, and then I turn the light off. There are a lot of nights where we'll giggle about how odd she can make her face look. I won’t turn the light off until the face is made."
15. This make-out session:
"We've been married for four years and, every night after we're done cuddling, we turn opposite ways to sleep, press our butts together, and make kissing noises. Like our butts are kissing each other goodnight."
16. And finally, this high time:
"We got super-high one night, downloaded the full .PDF of The Cheesecake Factory menu, and then proceeded to laugh for hours at how many pages and options there were. I mean literally HOURS."
So, can you top these weirdos? What's the WEIRDEST thing you and your S.O. do/have done together? Share yours in the comments below!
Some thread entries have been edited for length or clarity. H/T Reddit.