Anyone who had even REMOTELY strict parents can still recall some of the random "rules" they were forced to follow while living at home.
And this week when Reddit user alfred_the_whale asked, "What's the weirdest rule you had in your home growing up?", whew buddy, some of the responses were just TOO weird.
Here are just a few of the absolute WILDEST "rules" people had to follow while they were growing up:
1. This seasoning ban:
"Salt was for guests only. The actual use of spices was VERY looked down on in my house and was seen as a huge insult to my mom and dad, even though they were absolutely horrid cooks."
3. This seductress:
"I couldn’t recline or lay my body down AT ALL if my boyfriend was over. My mom thought that me laying down would give them 'thoughts,' so I couldn’t do it. Once I put my feet up on the couch while my FIANCÉ was over and my mom got pissed because she thought I was 'trying to turn him on.'"
4. This death by defecation:
"My grandmother said not to poop during a lightning storm because 'a bolt of lightning might strike the pipe and electrocute me.'"
5. This prison training:
"I wasn't allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that 'when you go to prison they don't let you have sugar, so it will make prison that much harder.'
1. Thanks for having so much faith in me, mum.
2. I'm pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison."
6. This bun privilege:
"My dad had diverticulosis (pockets in the intestine) and couldn't eat sesame seeds (among other things). So, when we would eat fast food sandwiches, everyone HAD to give their bottom buns to Dad, in exchange for his top buns. However, this reasoning was never explained and it was this way from before I born, so it was LITERALLY when I was in college that I realized that it wasn't normal. I thought it was just 'Dad Privilege' to have two bottom buns."
7. This pizza race:
"At my friend's house they had a 'no pizza-balling' rule.
There were three teenage brothers living there, and when they ordered pizzas, tempers flared quickly when someone would try to grab as many slices as they could. The first rule in place was that you couldn't have more than one slice at a time, and you could grab another once you had the last bite in your mouth. Anyway, one of the brothers quickly figured it out that if you ball up a slice he could fit it in his mouth and grab another one.
Hence the 'no pizza-balling' rule."
8. This gift giver:
"I could only buy things if I was buying them for a birthday or Christmas gift for somebody else. Mind you, this was my OWN money I earned from my OWN job. My mom knew exactly how long it took me to get home from school, so if I stopped at the store she knew, and I'd be in trouble."
9. This pronoun ban:
"My parents acted like referring to them as 'he' or 'she' while they were in the room was the equivalent of saying 'fuck you,' so referring to my parents with pronouns was, effectively, not allowed."
10. This education violence:
"No violent video games UNLESS they were 'about history.'"
11. This back door:
"We were not allowed to use the front door. Ever. There was a metal screen on it with a deadbolt that needed a key for either side. My stepdad kept the key and even visitors had to go to the back through the side gate."
12. This dad distance:
"This wasn't me, but my friend/neighbor: When my dad would get home from work, my friend would have to go home. His parents told him that because that meant it was dinnertime and therefore he should come home; however, him being a child, didn't grasp that portion of the rule. He only understood 'come home when the dad gets home.' This translated in my friend being terrified of my father. If he saw my dad turning into the driveway, he would drop whatever we were doing and sprint home."
13. This hat misunderstanding:
"I wasn't allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing. Mind you, this was in rural Wisconsin in the '90s. My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time."
14. This single towel:
"We were only allowed one clean towel a week. We could do whatever we wanted with it, but we didn't get another clean one until the next week."
15. This poison paranoia:
"I was never allowed to leave a drink in the car because, according to my mother, 'someone could poison it.' She's always been overly paranoid about safety, but that rule is still my favorite."
16. This OTHER f-word:
"We couldn’t say the word 'fart.' Ever. It was up there with the f-word as far as bad words in my parents' world."
17. This rule of three:
"After-school treat time was the only time we could have cookies, and we could only have three. It's not too weird a rule, but it had a significant impact. I'm 50 now and will still have exactly three cookies whenever I have cookies."
18. This horror-specific choice:
"We could watch 'Freddy' movies, but not 'Jason' movies. This was because my mom believed that the Friday the 13th movies were 'satanic,' but the A Nightmare on Elm Street movies were just for fun."
19. And finally, this candy trick (no treat):
"My mom had me believing the Great Pumpkin from the classic It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown special existed. The rules of Halloween were that I could only pick 10 candies from my trick-or-treat bag and the rest had to be 'given to the Great Pumpkin.' In reality, the 'Great Pumpkin' was my dad's work cubicle."
Now it's your turn! Can your house rules from childhood top these? Share yours in the comments below!
Some thread entries have been edited for length or clarity. H/T Reddit.