In case you only just recently sprang fully formed from the head of Zeus and are brand-new to the internet, SparkNotes* has the greatest Twitter account of all time for book lovers.
*Do you remember SparkNotes? The gracious gift that kept on giving during your high school years by summing up the plot of classic books and plays into easy-to-follow study guides? Yes, THAT SparkNotes.
While the entire account is definitely worth the follow, some of its absolute BEST jokes come from a deep love of Greek mythology.
The chorus in a Greek tragedy addressing the audience
So β with that in mind β here are a few of the account's best Greek mythology jokes/memes/tweets:
1.
Achilles when given the choice between dying young as a hero or living a long life in total obscurity
2.
Zeus: Hey can you hold this Atlas: Okay Zeus:
3.
NORMALIZE SPRINGING FULLY FORMED FROM THE HEAD OF ZEUS NORMALIZE SPRINGING FULLY FORMED FROM THE HEAD OF ZEUS NORMALIZE SPRINGING FULLY FORMED FROM THE HEAD OF ZEUS NORMALIZE SPRINGING FULLY FORMED FR
4.
Persephone
5.
Maybe I'm just overly sensitive but when someone chains you to a rock and sends an eagle to eat your liver every day for eternity, it feels like a personal attack
6.
Odysseus: Wow I can't wait to return home to Ithaca after ten long years away! Poseidon:
7.
oh to be an oracle who spends all day making cryptic prophecies for people to woefully misinterpret
8.
Eurydice: *dies* Orpheus:
9.
might mess around and | π | \ / ____| |_____ / β__/ \_β challenge Athena to a weaving contest despite the fact that she's the goddess of that sort of thing
10.
Demeter plunging the world into darkness because Hades took Persephone
11.
Cute date idea: we meet on the island of Crete. You help me navigate the Labyrinth so I can slay the Minotaur. I abandon you and sail away.
12.
The myth of Pygmalion
13.
Due to personal reasons I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.
14.
If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside.
15.
daedalus: you okay? icarus: yeah i'm fine icarus's headphones: Here Comes the Sun β The Beatles 1:02 ββββββββββ 3:06 β» β² β ‘ β³ βΊ volume: βββββ ββ 100%
16.
17.
Ladies, if he: - Brags about his accomplishments - Is bad with directions - Came up with the Trojan Horse idea, thus enabling the Greeks to win a decisive victory against the Trojans after a fruitless decade-long siege Heβs not your man. Heβs Odysseus, king of Ithaca.
18.
Odysseus: *goes to war, leaving his wife and son at home* The suitors:
19.
Cute things to call your partner: - Earth-shaker - Destroyer of cities - Breaker of horses - Man of twists and turns - Daughter of Zeus and third-born of the gods
20.
Actual footage of Orpheus playing such a mournful tune after the death of Eurydice that all the gods were moved to tears
21.
Hades: Donβt look behind you, or else Eurydice must return to the Underworld forever. Orpheus:
22.
if I were a great greek warrior, I wouldn't let someone shoot me in the foot with an arrow guided by apollo. like rip to achilles but I'm different
23.
Odysseus: *blinds the Cyclops* The Cyclops:
24.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta descend to the depths of hell itself and play the lyre for the god of the dead
25.
Poseidon: Did you blind my son Polyphemus? Odysseus:
26.
GIRLS π DONβT π WANT π BOYFRIENDS π GIRLS π WANT π SOMEONE π TO π SLAY π THE π MINOTAUR π AT π THE π HEART π OF π THE π LABYRINTH π WITH π THE π SWORD π OF π AEGEUS π